As you are acutely aware, even though the internet has torn down the curtain to reveal that million upon million of us (up to 20% of all adults according to some) enjoy some aspects of the spanking scene, we are extremely shy about telling others that we have our foible.
Which makes meeting up with like minds a little difficult.
Suppose, for the sake of illustration, you were a man seeking a female companion - you could not possibly start strike-up conversations with the line "Hello little girl, you look as if you have been naughty. Does your naughty bottom deserve a spank or two?" Well, I suppose it is not impossible, but even if you happened to be chatting with a spanko, the chances are that you will have turned her right off getting involved with you.
If you think about it, exactly the same difficulty arises for vanillas trying to pick up other vanillas for some vanilla styled sex. An opening line of "Would you like to go to bed with me?" is one fraught with rejection of all manner of reasons.
Vanilla or spanko - we all have to dance some sort of dance first. Except vanillas do not have to introduce the topic of sex into the negotiation: that is somewhat something of a given when two start the tango that might lead to a bedtime romp.
We spankos do not have spanking as a given in the negotiations: there is a 50% chance our new colleague has no interest in spanking activity whatsoever, a 25% chance they can tolerate some as a sort of "slap and tickle" approach to foreplay, and 25% are hoping against hope that you share the same burning desire that they do. Bringing up spanking gives you a 50/50 shot of it being a turn off, and the same chance it might lead to a butt getting a whack or two. While those are not bad odds, the act of tossing the dice means that we have to show our interest, in outright breach of the secrecy we need according to paragraph one above.
So - what can we do. Well, first we can hang about on chat forums; that gives us anonymity while revealing our deepest secrets. But that is a less than stellar way of finding a real life partner to share some real life activity.
We could attend a "munch" - a meeting of spankos for entertainment and meet up purposes. But any recovery attempt to deny our spanko nature is doomed to failure. Another certain breach of secrecy.
We really are left with simply trying to broach the subject while in a one-to-one meeting, in such a way that both parties can do a recovery if the other is clearly not a spanko.
Arm yourself with suitable seques into any topic that makes no statement about what you are hoping to hear. Television becomes a topic? There have been masses of TV startles lately - you should be able to bring one to mind without it being on the lines of "Amy clearly loved getting spanked by Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory. How about you?" Your own childhood days? Aw come on - you have to be able to say something about how today's anti-spanking policy is affecting the public behavior of children. And that gives a good reason to ask your companion what sort of discipline they got when they were younger. Which might be an interesting topic in its own right.
If your partner makes some sort of mild gaffe, you have a chance to introduce the lame joke, with a very broad smile, "It seems that you were not beaten often enough or hard enough when you were younger - and it now shows." Not a rib tickler, and not brought in as such - the reaction to those words might tell you so much about your new potential partner that you will both know how the land lies.
In the manner of a cast member of "Astronaut Wives' Club" you might simply give a friendly swat to the rump of your acquaintance. An annoyed protest can be countered with "Sorry - I was just giving your bottom a friendly compliment for being so attractive." It allows you to recover from a hostile response, and move forward if the response was clearly not of a hostile nature.
Now - we would not be having this discussion if being a spanko was not seen as needing to be a carefully kept secret. Maybe we should all join in some sort of world wide coming out campaign. And the act of coming out might bring very pleasant surprises in its wake.
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