July 4th Promotion

For 5 days, starting July 4th, you can get a copy of the novel The Gleam in Her Eyes absolutely free.

No strings - honest - no sign ups, no giving out your email address or any other trick.   Simply go to Amazon, and "buy" a free copy.

The price goes back to its normal level on July 9th - so if you want to get your hands on this erotic masterpiece (advt.) you had better beetle across to this page a bit sharpish and score yourself some reading pleasure.

Enjoy!

Z is for Zwounds

We authors sometimes allow ourselves to fall into the trap of using technically correct words regardless of what our users may have in their vocabulary, or using obscure words for the sole purpose of revealing the meaning of them.

For example. if I had a tale that was set in North West England, I might construct a sentence that reads "The house stood on the bonking overlooking the River Mersey."   After poring through lexicons of regional dialect, one or more readers might exclaim "Gosh Dave, you used a local word that describes a low hill side on one side of a plateau, not one of pair that make up a valley - wow, you is my hero of wordsmithpersonship."   Yeah - right.

But such usage happens.   One of our colleagues came up with "nates" in a context that clearly showed the word is a synonym of "buttocks".   Nates?   That author had presumably plumbed obscure, ancient dictionaries so as to tickle our delight by coming up with a brand new (to us) but totally authentic alternative to "bottom".   And we were expected to be delighted, not snorting with derision.

The other time we are tempted to use an obscure word is that we have learned what it really means, and which to share our gleaned knowledge with a wider audience.

Let me explain further.   In the times of the Cavaliers and Roundheads battling out a civil war in the UK, it became the custom of those days to use the body parts of the divine as swear words.   "God's body" for example.   And "God's teeth" for another.

Such profanity was not fit for polite society, so the initial "G" got dropped.   'ods body and 'ods teeth was far, far milder.   (segue:  "Oddsbodikins" transcribes as "God's little body" - I bet you didn't know that.)

And then to make it even milder, the "od" got censored as well, leaving us with a mild cuss still in use today: "Steeth"

Zwounds started out as "God's Wounds" and became "'Ods wounds" which morphed into "Swounds" and then inexplicably into "Zwounds".   And there you have it: a medieval cuss word laid bare after such clinical dissection.

You may be so enraptured with your new knowledge that you want to set up some dialogue in your next tale so that you can share it with your readership.   You know the sort of thing:  "Professor, put that cane down for a moment and do tell me what the word Zwounds really means ..."

Don't do it.   Your readers really don't give a damn that you have obscure regional dialect at your fingertips or have the ability to explain the etymology of any and every word your characters come to utter.   All they care about is that the spanking that is being set up in your introduction gets delivered in luscious detail.  Go back to basics and keep it simple.   Not stupidly so, but enough to keep your reader apace with your plot.

If you really have a need to explain the origin of the word Zwounds, save it for the last article in a series of 26 that go through every letter of the alphabet.  Then you might get away with it.

(Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible - (advt.)).

Y is for You

Yes - you, dear reader without whom all my efforts are totally worthless.

We have never met, but I do have some idea of what makes you tick.   Over 400 of you have responded to the survey to give some insight in what things are shared experiences and which ones make us stand apart.

From the pattern of my book sales, I can deduce which plot lines ring a chord with you, and which ones you find a little less than stellar.  That's OK - it is my job to fulfill you reading wants, not yours to spend your hard earned cash on stuff just because I am inordinately proud of it.   And the number of reads of short stories also give a hint - but that is more an indicator of how intriguing a title is, I rather suspect.

I get some hints - some clear, some obscure - from the comments some of you make about my posts, my stories and my published works.

One hard statistic of e-books is that, on average, it takes about 700 sales to generate one customer review.   And since getting such reviews is vital to turning a pot boiler into a best seller, some new authors get friends and family to write glowing reviews for them in order to create some "buzz" about the work.   A tactic doomed to failure, for if a new book arrives complete with half a dozen glowing reviews, just about everyone knows that it has not been in circulation long enough to get any reviews at all, and the game is up.  If you are going to use phoney reviews, wait four to six months before publishing them and you may succeed with such con tricks.

If your are not an author, it might surprise you to learn that the hard currency for some web sites is the comments from the public at large who visit and partake of the stuff that has been put out for its amusement.


When it comes to the free stuff we hand out, some authors are desperate for comments and reviews.   A very promising new picture blog was pulled a couple of years ago because not one of 12,000 visitors had been polite enough to make a comment.   Not one single comment.   That author - wrongly thinking he was entitled to get responses - was so upset that no-one agreed with that point of view - he pulled the plug rather than changing his mind.

There are free story sites that if a member does not comment after a pre-set number of reads, has membership rights revoked.   "Good members" give comments freely, so if you are a "bad member" you can get the hell out of here until your manners improve.   Or some such.  Their web site - their rules.   All is good.

But those ways of thinking do not apply to you, dear reader, while you are visiting this site, to pondering the musings or reading the free tales.

That you pop in from time to time is suffice.   All that is published here is for you for without you the entire enterprise is without merit.   By all means tell me if anything is less than average.   But because you want to, not because I might get peeved if you don't.

X is for X-rated

I have no hard evidence, but I think one of the senior Google executives is a hardened anti-spanking nut.

You must have noticed that when you type words into the search bar of Google, you get a list of helpful hints of how to finish off the rest of your inquiry.   Unless you start using crude language, and the Maiden-Aunt side of google takes over, and all help is promptly withdrawn.

Within the world of Google, the word "spanking" is in their lexicon of crude language.   The word spanking itself is so fraught with peril that when anyone says it, Aunt Google quickly crosses to the other side of the street to avert her eyes away in soulful disbelief that such a word is being used in polite society.

And her team of stalwart blue-noses diligently track down all and any site that might inflame the masses with their spanking content:  if you get to the "L" of Nu-west Leda all the helpful search hints vanish from the list.   For it is very important to the hardened anti-spanking nut that Googol is never seen to assist spanking freaks get their fill.    They wont stop us - that might lose advertising revenue - but they will make it plain that they do not really approve of what we are up to.

Now, as it happens, Blogger is owned - indirectly - by Google.   And when we bloggers use crude language or show pictures and/or videos of an adult nature, our blogs are put behind a privacy screen - called the "Mature Content Warning"  to ensure only mature audiences get to slake their lust by visiting such sites.

Google claims it does not review the content of sites:  it simply responds to hints given to it by people who wish to protect young ones from porn.   Having been alerted to a possible adult site masquerading as a family one, Google checks out the blog's SEO keywords and then place it behind a Mature Content warning.

Which you - as an adult and mature web searcher cannot turn off.   Every single time you revisit one of your favorite sites, you will have to reconfirm for the umpteenth time that you wish to continue.   

Some spanking sites do have language that is extremely raunchy, and other display pictures that make very public the most private of private parts.   And, if parents have not set privacy controls on their kid's search options, I suppose their is some sort of case that Aunty Google should take action to hinder the tykes in their quest for knowledge that may be too adult for them.   But a button that reads "I wish to continue" - that's supposed to do the trick?  Really?

The point is that any blog that regularly discusses spanking material, no matter in what form, it will sooner or later be culled off to sit behind the "Adult Content" warning.

When that happens to me, I do hope that you will continue to wend your way in here.   There are serious sides to the thing that we do, and I shall continue to explore them as I have done so far.

W is for Writing and Re-writing

Imagine that you have just finished your very first short story - a veritable mini-masterpiece of wit and erotic tension leading to a very fine description of a spanking that will echo in the butt of every reader.   Guess what every managing editor will now recommend you do with it?   Go back and rewrite it.   As if from scratch.

The hardest chore the beginning author is tasked with is rewriting what has already been written.   Particularly if the said author is bursting with pride at the wonderfulness of the literary gem awaiting to be released upon a grateful public.

But it is a discipline that has so much to commend it that I would suggest that if you do not already do it, you should start doing it as soon as possible.

Some ideas of how to go about doing a rewrite:

• Read the whole tale aloud to see how well it really hangs together, and if the plot develops in a natural and unforced manner.
• Take each paragraph in turn and ask what the paragraph is supposed to achieve, and whether it actually achieves it.
• Then look at each sentence to see if it can be crafted better:  perhaps by breaking it up into several sentences, perhaps by using different words that are more effective.
• And repeat the entire sequence you come up with, at least twice.

All the time you are looking for possible changes to the plot, plot flow, point of view and the actual minutia of word-craft itself.   For example look just how much the following opening paragraphs changed through the process of the rewrite.

The original opening paragraph was:

“Ladies, Gentlemen, let me present you with the XBot 2505!” announced Doctor James Gayhaus with the wild over-enthusiasm often adopted by academics that have been given the task of acting as a pitch-man for a new product launch.

Which turned into:

The doorbell rang, and a few seconds later I opened it to find a very attractive female standing on my door step.   She was without doubt the most beguiling and enchanting young minx I had ever encountered.   She wore smart and sassy attire that was both business casual and seductress at large.   My mouth dropped slightly.

I am not suggesting that your final version will be so dramatically different from the first draft - just pointing out that you might be surprised just how big a change takes place during the process.

In doing the due diligence of pre-publication review, you may unearth many little literary gems with which to enhance your work and the reading pleasure of your audience.   So - I would opine - you really ought to take on the task of doing the re-write phase with positive enthusiasm for what it might bring.

Stream of consciousness may be a fine method of creating that first draft:  but it is extremely rare that it is a fine method of producing the finished work.   If you get my drift...

 

 

V is for Viewpoint

When we write a spanking tale, we recount what happened by telling the scene as one of the participants, or as a "seeing eye" who describes what is going on without actually being there.  The technical term is POV (Point of View) but you know me well enough by now that we can use the less formal term "View Point"

Selecting the view point is important.   Your aim is to tell the reader what is going on, and each viewpoint has its advantages and disadvantages.   Particularly if we want to say "why" the action is unfolding in the way that it is.

The "standard" view point is in the third person past tense, but sometimes authors try the present tense for effect, and on a couple of occasions I have seen the future tense being used:  very out of the ordinary, so use the future tense with care, and only for fairly short pieces.


Take the simple, standard, third person past tense, as in the statement "He picked up the whip and faced her."   We might have to go a long way to show our reader the inevitability of the picking up that whip, and the emotions that the action unleashed on the victim.

We can get around one part of the problem by going to first person. "It was incumbent upon me to show this wretched wench the price of sin - and I had the arm, wit and resolve to show her just how high a price,  I picked up the whip and faced her."    Well, we are finding it plain sailing to explain his motives - but now we are inside his shoes, telling the reader any emotion she is feeling is going to come across, at best, as inspired guesswork.

"He picked up the whip and faced me.   Every nerve end in my body shrank at the horror he would unleash upon me, and, in particular, I became acutely aware how vulnerable my naked buttocks were."   (OK, a bit purpley -  but the aim is to show now that we are able to describe her emotions, telling what he his thinking has become inspired guesswork.) 

We could switch viewpoints back and forth:  if not overdone, that can be very effective.   Just use clear sign posts to let the reader that we have changed point of view.   The free short story in the Free Story section called  "Abuse of Power" uses this technique with remarkable success (advt.)

For every day workmanlike work (or workpersonlike if gender is an issue), third person past tense works just fine.   We have an arsenal of techniques to show what a person is thinking - we just have to deploy them in a workpersonlike manner.

I don't know about you, but I find second person narratives awkward to read "You picked up the whip and faced her"   Or event "He picked up the whip and faced you."     I think this is supposed to make the reader more committed to the narrative but - possibly because of its rarity - it tends to isolate me from the action.   However, what I personally think about your narrative is the least of your problems - if this technique works for you and your readers, you go for it.   Variety being the spice of life and all that.

The other viewpoint I personally have great difficulty is when the narrative is is a future tense.    "You will pick up the whip and face me.   I will become aware just how vulnerable my naked buttocks are."    But again, if it works for you, then that is all that matters.

The point I am trying to make is that the choice of viewpoint will change how your reader reacts to your tale, and your decision as to which one to use may have a profound effect on how the tale unfolds.   One day soon, when this A to Z challenge is over, I shall lead you into a case study of just how different a tale might unfold.    ("Oh no." I hear you all cry - "You're not going to carry on after the A to Z.are you?"    "You betcha," I reply with words full of terrible portent...

U is for Uniform

Naturally U just had to be for Uniform : there is an element of relished anticipation in the ritual that may precede a session of corporal punishment:  and it goes with the turf that uniform wearers who get whacked will do so by following a very formal ritual before the first stroke lands.   Whether it is a nervous schoolgirl having to touch her toes as an act of submission, or an airline steward accused of drinking alcohol in some mid-East nation:  the relentless steps the victim goes through makes for a very satisfactory build up of tension.

A couple of years ago I picked up a real life interview in the UK press, and when I researched it, it turned out that it was very, very possible that the events really happened.

What events?    Have a look at my free tale Over a Breach of Discipline.    But be warned - it is quite severe and there is not a single element of erotica about it (advt.)

T is for Teaching Moment

When spankings are safe, sane and consensual, they are tremendous fun.   Even some non-spankos give a nod in our direction when they let themselves go.

But when they are not, they can be abusive, nasty and/or unpleasant.  Even for the most ardent devotee of the profession.

One of my Second Life acquaintances told me of a real life experience when it turned out that her partner was a dyed in the wool sadist, and not only took her to the limits of her safe word, continued on long after reaching that line.   Sadists don't seem to care about anything except the own personal gratification, so do take care your potential partner is not an out and out sadist - unless, of course, you wish to explore the darkest recesses of your partner's mind.

Now, I could give you a lecture on safe practices, but, as it happens, I once wrote a short story that spells it all out in a most excellent manner (advt.)   So here is A Teaching Moment: a tale I hope that will amuse, erudite and perhaps even edify you.

S is for Surprise Ending

As authors, we seem to delight in giving our readers an unexpected twists at the end of the tales we tell.

It probably starts with our early (non spanko) childhood efforts - where we pile on invention after invention to put our protagonist - often ourselves - into a wilder and wilder situation.   I bet  you, like me, resolved the impossibility we had created so used the twist in the tale in the manner of:  "... and then I woke up."   Gosh - we thought to ourselves - no one will spot that one coming.

But ask any English teacher of kids under the age of 13:  they will tell you they see that at least once a semester if not once a week.   It would seem we all do it, at least once, in our formative writing days.

This illustrates the nub of the problem - finding really new dramatic twists for short stories is getting almost impossibly hard in all genres.    O. Henry alone is charged with using up about 50% of all realistic ironic endings.    Fortunately, he was not into spanking faction

That does not help a great deal - for us authors of spanking fiction, the task of finding a novel ending is even harder.   We are expected to turn out a tale that meets our reader's expectations that the set up for the spanking is realistic (no easy task), that the spanking will be realistically described (no easy task) and that the aftermath will be consistent with steps one and two.   OK, if you have set up steps one and two in a workpersonlike manner, step three is relatively easy.

Step three is relatively easy until you decide it is to contain a twist in the tail.   It doesn't have to - mind - if the aftermath is raw, unadorned slaking of lust, the need for a surprise ending has largely gone away.   And often a simple acceptance of all that has gone before is quite OK.   Not stunning, but very acceptable.

But if you do decide you want a surprise ending, I think you should take counsel that some surprise endings have been done so often that they now are virtually cliches.    You might know the sort of thing:  the school-girl is actually his adult wife.   The assumed victim of the beating was really in charge the whole time.   The unwilling victim finds the event has really been extremely rousing much to much mental confusion.   If a beating for such a minor offense is warranted, just wait until the major offense is discovered.   And so on.

There are new surprise endings waiting to be mined, and the mind games to unearth them are great fun.

But if you are new to writing spanking fiction, I would suggest you go and read a vast amount of spanking short stories by other authors - as due diligence to understand what the reading audience expects, and to make sure your "new" really astonishing twist hasn't been used so many times it causes a yawn rather than a shocked smile of congratulation.

When you do succeed in your quest for a new twist in the tail, I promise you your reading public will sure let you know.

R is for Robo-spanker

Outside of the sci-fi world of eroticobots, a la "The Gleam in Her Eye", there really are mechanical devices designed to impart a series of blows to a penitent's bottom.

The grand-daddy is actually called "The Robo Spanker".  If you want to investigate the machine, don't use Googol to find their web site- Googol is about the most anti-spanking search engine out there.    (In fact, let's all boycott Google totally - that will teach them to be so anti-spanking).

The Robo spanker is a simple back and forth whacker - making the paddle its best implement - for unless the victim changes body position, all strokes will land pretty much on the same spot.

The video producers at Pain-4-Fem came up with their own contraption, that uses a rotating arm to deliver a cane or whip stroke.   To overcome the possibility of all strokes landing on the same sport, with much whirring, the delivery arm rises and lowers different amounts between consecutive strokes.   Even if you have not watched any of their videos, you might have come across a picture or two of their models on the photo-blogs.   The precision of the closely packed parallel stripes is the hallmark of a bottom striped with such mechanical efficiency.

The Instamatic II is the latest addition to the market of automated spankers.   It is controlled by a pc program, and absent partners could, conceivably, deliver precise punishments from long distances by simply changing the programs variables.   A whole new variation on "the long arm of the law", if you will.

For my tale "The Punishment Program" I combined the Instamatic II programming with the whirring noises of the Pain-4-Fem device.

I suspect the inventors of such devices might have a bigger market than one would first think.   Since 20% of those with our taste have never told another person about their liking, it suggests that there are several million potential buyers in the USA alone.

If we had some way of being more open about our foible, that would surely open up the number of consensual spankings while making substantial dents in the profits of the mechanical device manufacturers.