The SOM2 comes with a feature that makes long distance cooperation possible - the SOM2PC software allows one partner to send commands to the second partner's PC in order for it to deliver one or a set of spanks, even if that second partner should be on the opposite side of the globe.
To get the SOM2 software to work, you have to install a free widget called phidgets: which actually handles the P.C. to P.C. communications. The SOM panel on one partner's screen sends a "message" through phidgets, which transmits the message onto the host P.C., which then carries out that command.
The network screen on both machines is identical: you enter an ISP of interest, a "passphrase", indicate whether you are the host or are connecting to the host. And that is it. To slightly confuse the issue for a few moments when first entering this screen, is that a dummy ISP is already displayed: you have guess that you need to type the real ISP over the top of it.
Then you press the "connect to host" button and after ten seconds or so you might get an error message which means the host said the electronic communications equivalent of "Sod off! I'm not interested" (Not the exact words, but that is what they mean in human terms). Which is exactly what happened when we tried our first link up.
Many, many, many experiments failed to remove the error message and allow access.
Research suggested firewalls might be to blame. Both computers had the SOM2PC and the phidgets added to the exceptions file. No change. The firewalls were switched off on both machines, No change.
So - Both machines had the extremely efficient but not without risk TightVNC software downloaded onto them. One partner would be able to actually take over complete control of the other computer: hence the risk element inherent with this solution.
And then something significant happened. Trying to connect using the TightVNC resulted in exactly the same sort of error message. Perhaps it was not software, but a hardware problem, that we faced.
A chat with an IT specialist seemed to be in order, and an appointment was duly made.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Thursday, July 30, 2015
The SOM Saga 2 - Hosed
Assembling the hardware that makes up a SOM is "a doddle" according to one end user, and really does not need the on-line video to show you how to do it. All up and ready in no time at all.
However, the SOM2 is powered by an air-compressor. This gives a more swing than an electric motor, and allows for far finer tuning of the power of any one delivery.
The machine does not come with an air-compressor: that you have to buy yourself. This should be no biggie for they are not expensive pieces of equipment. Since you are more likely to use your SOM indoors than out, you are virtually driven to get an electric air-compressor which will definitely keep costs under control.
All you have to do, is connect the hose pipe attached to the SOM to the socket in the air compressor. The instructions that come with the machine contain this gem of a useful bit of advice:
But an air compressor is an air compressor and there just has to be some way to make it fit a SOM, isn't there? Not necessarily. The first air compressor had the SOM hose swirling about quite freely. A helpful web site suggested a coupling device to act as a bridge between the two. Despite the diameters appear to fit the couplings parameters, air still escaped at a rate to stop the paddle arm getting enough to flex its muscles.
The second air-compressor - purchased locally - fared no better. A trip back to the shop revealed that neither of the first two air-compressors could ever have worked with the SOM - the respective specifications were totally incompatible.. C'est la vie.
The third and final purchase of an air-compressor was one that fitted perfectly. A simplistic test run of this third purchase showed that the only real noise came from blasting some air into the SOM for the next paddle stroke, and that that noise was considerably less than a paddle slapping a butt with any degree of real sting.
Incidentally, when testing the SOM without a paddle, only the lowest settings should be used. Part of its integral structure, the SOM needs a stroke to come to a definite stop to prevent internal damage: which is why you should not use a light whip or switch as the implement of infliction.
Still - we now have a SOM2 set up in a private part of the house, and its muscles flex readily with a supply of air pressure. Nothing else could go wrong. Or could it?
However, the SOM2 is powered by an air-compressor. This gives a more swing than an electric motor, and allows for far finer tuning of the power of any one delivery.
The machine does not come with an air-compressor: that you have to buy yourself. This should be no biggie for they are not expensive pieces of equipment. Since you are more likely to use your SOM indoors than out, you are virtually driven to get an electric air-compressor which will definitely keep costs under control.
All you have to do, is connect the hose pipe attached to the SOM to the socket in the air compressor. The instructions that come with the machine contain this gem of a useful bit of advice:
1 Incoming air line. Pressurized air provides the power for the SOM II system, and comes to the head unit through a thick black rubber hose with brass fittings permanently attached to the head. This hose ends in a male quick connect fitting that mates to the female fitting supplied on most compressors or available at hardware stores as “industrial” style. International owners may need to seek out fittings that match up appropriately. Attaching a quick connect pair involves pulling back the collar on the female, inserting the male firmly, and releasing the collar. The fitting should lock together making an air-tight seal.What this really means, after some lengthy experimentation is that American air compressors come with a clip, or collar, that readily connects with the SOM2 hose, but if you get an air compressor in a foreign country, you are very likely to be out of luck. So American consumers need not worry unduly.
But an air compressor is an air compressor and there just has to be some way to make it fit a SOM, isn't there? Not necessarily. The first air compressor had the SOM hose swirling about quite freely. A helpful web site suggested a coupling device to act as a bridge between the two. Despite the diameters appear to fit the couplings parameters, air still escaped at a rate to stop the paddle arm getting enough to flex its muscles.
The second air-compressor - purchased locally - fared no better. A trip back to the shop revealed that neither of the first two air-compressors could ever have worked with the SOM - the respective specifications were totally incompatible.. C'est la vie.
The third and final purchase of an air-compressor was one that fitted perfectly. A simplistic test run of this third purchase showed that the only real noise came from blasting some air into the SOM for the next paddle stroke, and that that noise was considerably less than a paddle slapping a butt with any degree of real sting.
Incidentally, when testing the SOM without a paddle, only the lowest settings should be used. Part of its integral structure, the SOM needs a stroke to come to a definite stop to prevent internal damage: which is why you should not use a light whip or switch as the implement of infliction.
Still - we now have a SOM2 set up in a private part of the house, and its muscles flex readily with a supply of air pressure. Nothing else could go wrong. Or could it?
The SOM Saga 1 - Blocked
If you are physically separated by double figure time zones from a potential partner, the likelihood of mutual play of one sort or another seems somewhat daunting. Unless, of course, one partner has - or can acquire - a Spank-O-Matic 2 (aka the SOM).
The concept is delightfully simple - one partner sits at a local P.C. console - taps an icon on the screen to hand, and then in a different continent, the SOM delivers the precise intensity of whack to the rump of the second partner - the intensity that was just decided by the first partner
But it is a voyage of discovery. And some potential interesting moments on the way. The American manufacturer of the SOM dispatched a discretely cardboard carton to Europe and a few days later it arrived in a Customs warehouse a few miles to the East of London.
When it arrived there, a Customs officer could have been heard asking, in the local argot, of the team: "Here, what is this?" He received a circle of shrugs by reply. "Here, what is this?" (or the equivalent phrases in email terminology) was addressed to the eager would-be importer.
The only way around the impasse, it was agreed, was a face-to-face encounter. "Yes, but what does it exactly do?" was the question eventually posed. The officer listened to the reply with a remarkable stony face, and his nearby colleagues studiously took on the air of those who had not managed to accidentally eavesdrop.
"Right," said the customers office with a certain twinkle in his eye. "I shall deem that this device is a personal massager. That way you will not have to pay any import duty on it." There was a pregnant pause. "But you will, of course, have to pay V.A.T."
There was an exchange of cash from one party and the box from the other. The SOM was now ready to go to its new home.
The concept is delightfully simple - one partner sits at a local P.C. console - taps an icon on the screen to hand, and then in a different continent, the SOM delivers the precise intensity of whack to the rump of the second partner - the intensity that was just decided by the first partner
But it is a voyage of discovery. And some potential interesting moments on the way. The American manufacturer of the SOM dispatched a discretely cardboard carton to Europe and a few days later it arrived in a Customs warehouse a few miles to the East of London.
When it arrived there, a Customs officer could have been heard asking, in the local argot, of the team: "Here, what is this?" He received a circle of shrugs by reply. "Here, what is this?" (or the equivalent phrases in email terminology) was addressed to the eager would-be importer.
The only way around the impasse, it was agreed, was a face-to-face encounter. "Yes, but what does it exactly do?" was the question eventually posed. The officer listened to the reply with a remarkable stony face, and his nearby colleagues studiously took on the air of those who had not managed to accidentally eavesdrop.
"Right," said the customers office with a certain twinkle in his eye. "I shall deem that this device is a personal massager. That way you will not have to pay any import duty on it." There was a pregnant pause. "But you will, of course, have to pay V.A.T."
There was an exchange of cash from one party and the box from the other. The SOM was now ready to go to its new home.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
.The right angle
Allowing for minor variations within each position, there are precisely six different positions that a person who is about to spanked can assume, and the most significant variation is the angle the legs make with the torso,
The first pair of positions is when there is no angle at all between legs and upper body: the victim lies flat on the floor, flat on a bench or even flat on a table. One variation has the legs together, and in the other, the feet are shoulder width, or more, apart. Video buffs will recognize this position as being favorite of the Russian video producers: flat on a bench or upright at the whipping post.
Now, there are two main areas of the bottom which get spanked: the "meat" that is the center of each buttock, and the "under-hang", that area that lies between the crease at the top of the thigh, and the meat above it.
In this first position, whether legs are apart or not, all the spanks will land squarely on the meat of the bottom. To all intents, the under-hang is effectively taken out of play, except for random strokes from an extremely flexible instrument. Which is why this position is possibly less popular in real life than it is in some movie studios.
The second position is when the thighs are at right angles, or thereabouts, to the upper body. This is the automatic position assumed by someone across a knee, or standing to lie atop a desk (or even the back of a buggy cart). And in this position, both meat and under-hang are both readily available to whatever implement of choice is being used. The whole of the bottom, from cheek top to cheek base is open to chastisement - and the legs together or apart simply increases the ability to land slaps on the more sensitive area of skin that lies towards the very center of the bottom. When the cheeks are splayed, the flesh on the inside of each cheek turns slightly outwards, increasing the chance of each yelp being substantially louder.
And finally, we have the position when the angle is substantially less than 90 degrees. In position 2, the head was level with the backside, now it is considerable lower. The easiest way to achieve this position is "touch your toes" or its American counter-part "Grab your ankles". But there are variations, including the simple kneel on a chair and put your hands on the floor. One film studio has a spanking bench with a hole in its center for the head to be poked through - an out of the ordinary but quite effective manner of achieving position number 3. And the diaper position is a variant of this, save the person being spanked starts by lying on their back.
The act of assuming position three flattens the under-hang to such an extent that for all practical purposes, the meat becomes largely irrelevant. The under-hang has become almost the entire target to be punished. The aftermath of paddling videos, particularly those that replicate school paddlings, end with buttocks thoroughly bruised from top of thigh to just under the meaty part of the buttock. And this is the whole point of a touch your toes caning as well - the welts will lie across the lower, more sensitive part of the bottom. Not only does the position make the penitent take the most submissive posture readily available, the punishment is slightly more effective than that received in position 2. Again, legs together or apart simply increase or decrease the amount of central area flattened to be part of the target area.
As a spanking author, you will be able to engineer your characters into which ever position your plot suggests, and your only issue is how much time you will devote in your narrative to describe what the assumed position has done to make your victim more accessible to the torments, or pleasures, to come.
If stuck for a new plot motif, you could try a spot of reverse engineering. By whatever method, start by choosing one of the six positions. And furniture, implement, clothing. Then try to work out how these two came to be in this exact tableau and work outwards to what started it and what happened afterwards. That she is stood spreadeagled at a T frame to have a dressage whip applied to her rump suggests all sort of plot devices than those that result in her touching her toes awaiting for a rattan cane to reduce her to tears of pitiful remorse.
Not a cure-all, but one tool that you should have in your writer's bag, and understanding the anatomy of the six basic positions will avoid you describing an impact that simply could not have happened in real life.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Another spanking survey
The next spanking survey is under construction.
It attempts to quantify exactly what it is that the average spanko does to fulfill the foible, and tries to identify any differences between those activities dependent upon how far either side of puberty the spanking interest developed.
Every single facet of the survey will be as anonymous as possible. The software itself does not know who took part by any traceable method known to computer forensics, and the questions themselves are not tied in any way to the respondent.
I would like to know if you - yes you, dear reader - would like to suggest a question to be included in the survey. If you do - and you want to be anonymous - simply use my contact form and use a fictitious email address. There is no internal gadget to test the validity of the email address you use, only that it is correctly formatted. Nottellingyou@nowhere,com works quite fine, even if email sent to that address will never get delivered. (You can use a real one if you want to enter into a conversation with me, but I promise I never ever get cross with people who use false names and addresses).
I would hope to launch the survey early next month. So if you have a suggestion, please do send it soon.
It attempts to quantify exactly what it is that the average spanko does to fulfill the foible, and tries to identify any differences between those activities dependent upon how far either side of puberty the spanking interest developed.
Every single facet of the survey will be as anonymous as possible. The software itself does not know who took part by any traceable method known to computer forensics, and the questions themselves are not tied in any way to the respondent.
I would like to know if you - yes you, dear reader - would like to suggest a question to be included in the survey. If you do - and you want to be anonymous - simply use my contact form and use a fictitious email address. There is no internal gadget to test the validity of the email address you use, only that it is correctly formatted. Nottellingyou@nowhere,com works quite fine, even if email sent to that address will never get delivered. (You can use a real one if you want to enter into a conversation with me, but I promise I never ever get cross with people who use false names and addresses).
I would hope to launch the survey early next month. So if you have a suggestion, please do send it soon.
No butt about it
I mentioned recently that most humans, spankos included, are quite shy in respect of all matters in respect of our own anus. That we each have one, in most polite conversations, is avoided even more avidly than any topic that might reveal to our stunned listeners that we can get turned on by spankings.
Reading about them is relatively OK - because reading is a very private affair. And perhaps espying one in a spanking video might be quite acceptable for the same reason. Indeed, more than one spanking video actually depicts the pain being delivered directly to the victim's anus: which was no turnoff for the victims depicted in those videos.
Fascination with the anus is not a spanko trait. There are a number of case studies reporting that some vanilla females can only achieve orgasm by way of anal sex: and not because they are over the top kinky.
In male anatomy, the prostrate gland lies within the colon, and inch or so from the anus. The prostate gland, among other functions, sets of the erection and massaging the gland is one way to ensure a long lasting one.
In the female anatomy, the vagina and the anus are interconnected by so many different nerve paths, the family of them are grouped together under the term pudendal nerve, which is not a singularity, but a network.
It has been suggested that spankos who pick up the fascination when very young, do so because of those two factors. A boy contracting his buttocks gives some pressure to a (as yet) switched off gland and it sends a "meaningless" pleasure signal to the brain. Likewise a girl contracting her buttocks causes her vagina to send a similar not understood pleasure signal to the brain.
The pleasure comes from sex circuits that will not be activated until puberty, leaving the child in total disbelief that the thought of pain can be so pleasing.
When we are grown up (ie past puberty) then the connection between anus and sex organs is more clear to us. And those connections lead to all sorts of activities in which anal stimulation is part of the sex act itself. Even unto a cane whacking it with enough force to give a mild pain sensation.
So perhaps you can now see that those ladies who can only get an orgasm from anal sex are not some sort of freaks: it is just that their body chemistry relies more strongly on the way our anatomy is built than others.
What can we take away from all this as spanking authors. The inclusion of some acts that involve the anus are more likely to increase our reader's pleasure than turn them off. As always, plot motivation and style of writing are more important than the clinical detail.
Provided, as always, the activity is taking place between consenting adults in a safe and sane way.
If writing about a non consensual spanking simply describes abuse, you really need to get to terms that writing about non-consensual anal play amounts to a very ugly form of pornography. By my way of thinking, that is.
Reading about them is relatively OK - because reading is a very private affair. And perhaps espying one in a spanking video might be quite acceptable for the same reason. Indeed, more than one spanking video actually depicts the pain being delivered directly to the victim's anus: which was no turnoff for the victims depicted in those videos.
Fascination with the anus is not a spanko trait. There are a number of case studies reporting that some vanilla females can only achieve orgasm by way of anal sex: and not because they are over the top kinky.
In male anatomy, the prostrate gland lies within the colon, and inch or so from the anus. The prostate gland, among other functions, sets of the erection and massaging the gland is one way to ensure a long lasting one.
In the female anatomy, the vagina and the anus are interconnected by so many different nerve paths, the family of them are grouped together under the term pudendal nerve, which is not a singularity, but a network.
It has been suggested that spankos who pick up the fascination when very young, do so because of those two factors. A boy contracting his buttocks gives some pressure to a (as yet) switched off gland and it sends a "meaningless" pleasure signal to the brain. Likewise a girl contracting her buttocks causes her vagina to send a similar not understood pleasure signal to the brain.
The pleasure comes from sex circuits that will not be activated until puberty, leaving the child in total disbelief that the thought of pain can be so pleasing.
When we are grown up (ie past puberty) then the connection between anus and sex organs is more clear to us. And those connections lead to all sorts of activities in which anal stimulation is part of the sex act itself. Even unto a cane whacking it with enough force to give a mild pain sensation.
So perhaps you can now see that those ladies who can only get an orgasm from anal sex are not some sort of freaks: it is just that their body chemistry relies more strongly on the way our anatomy is built than others.
What can we take away from all this as spanking authors. The inclusion of some acts that involve the anus are more likely to increase our reader's pleasure than turn them off. As always, plot motivation and style of writing are more important than the clinical detail.
Provided, as always, the activity is taking place between consenting adults in a safe and sane way.
If writing about a non consensual spanking simply describes abuse, you really need to get to terms that writing about non-consensual anal play amounts to a very ugly form of pornography. By my way of thinking, that is.
Monday, July 27, 2015
A tricky method
One of the joys of being a fiction author is that we can devise devices of utmost cunning without ever having to show that they would work in real life/
Before the Robo-Spanker and Spank-O-Matic machines hit the market, many a spanking author had used automated devices as implements of punishment and/or erotica without once having to file patents for a real life marvelous invention,. One could write, say, "as the crank shaft rotated the paddle swung back and forth with precise and vicious efficiency". That such a contraption could not possibly work was irrelevant - for our reader cared little about the mechanism itself, but the relentless pounding it was delivering to a bottom that truly deserved such rigorous treatment. All the downside of the invention was set aside under the doctrine of "willing suspension of disbelief" for the promise of an upside of delightful consequences.
We really can get away with almost anything in the world of fiction. Take nettles. Delightful plants in the fact they can inflict a sting well on par with just about any implement that might come to a spanker's hand. But - oh! - the complications.
They need to be quite fresh - old stale bunches are as useful as a bundle of wet noodles when it comes to inflicting a smartness intended to awaken the senses totally. Also, the sting only gets injected on light taps - grasp a nettle leaf firmly and it will not hurt one little bit. And we ought to take into account the stems are so soft and floppy as to make them very awkward to use..
But in fiction, we need not take time out to consider why something should not work - only how we can get it to work by making everything come out without mishap.
Pulling a bunch of nettles out of the ground to whack against a bare bottom perched atop our knee would, if you ever tried it, present all sorts of practical problems - from keeping the leaves well away from our own delicate areas, to applying swats lightly enough to draw a howl. And so on.
Well, we writers just tell the reader that it worked out perfectly, and they will rejoice in the thoughts of the results of such wonderful improvisation and not start cat-calling and jeering at just how impractical it all is.
You decide that the ordeal will take place in the open air? No problem - give your hero a huge mansion, a desert island or, if everything else fails, the luck of the devil, and no-one who should not will not come running at the sounds of her yells and her cries for mercy, for pity's sake. Really fresh leaves suggest the nettles are still firmly in the soil. No problem, your hero uses a handy hoist coincidentally located just where it needs to be so that with her srists and ankles secured to its hook, she can be lowered, bare buttocks first ,\\, into the awaiting jaws of stinging foliage.
I suspect that when we take such huge leaps of fancy, we should append a warning tag like they do to most TV adverts in which cars are pushed to the limits of their automotive prowess - you know the sort of thing "Professional driver on closed circuit - do not try at home." If your hero lowers your heroine butt first into a nettle patch, you might consider appending a not dissimilar warning to your epic masterpiece.
Before the Robo-Spanker and Spank-O-Matic machines hit the market, many a spanking author had used automated devices as implements of punishment and/or erotica without once having to file patents for a real life marvelous invention,. One could write, say, "as the crank shaft rotated the paddle swung back and forth with precise and vicious efficiency". That such a contraption could not possibly work was irrelevant - for our reader cared little about the mechanism itself, but the relentless pounding it was delivering to a bottom that truly deserved such rigorous treatment. All the downside of the invention was set aside under the doctrine of "willing suspension of disbelief" for the promise of an upside of delightful consequences.
We really can get away with almost anything in the world of fiction. Take nettles. Delightful plants in the fact they can inflict a sting well on par with just about any implement that might come to a spanker's hand. But - oh! - the complications.
They need to be quite fresh - old stale bunches are as useful as a bundle of wet noodles when it comes to inflicting a smartness intended to awaken the senses totally. Also, the sting only gets injected on light taps - grasp a nettle leaf firmly and it will not hurt one little bit. And we ought to take into account the stems are so soft and floppy as to make them very awkward to use..
But in fiction, we need not take time out to consider why something should not work - only how we can get it to work by making everything come out without mishap.
Pulling a bunch of nettles out of the ground to whack against a bare bottom perched atop our knee would, if you ever tried it, present all sorts of practical problems - from keeping the leaves well away from our own delicate areas, to applying swats lightly enough to draw a howl. And so on.
Well, we writers just tell the reader that it worked out perfectly, and they will rejoice in the thoughts of the results of such wonderful improvisation and not start cat-calling and jeering at just how impractical it all is.
You decide that the ordeal will take place in the open air? No problem - give your hero a huge mansion, a desert island or, if everything else fails, the luck of the devil, and no-one who should not will not come running at the sounds of her yells and her cries for mercy, for pity's sake. Really fresh leaves suggest the nettles are still firmly in the soil. No problem, your hero uses a handy hoist coincidentally located just where it needs to be so that with her srists and ankles secured to its hook, she can be lowered, bare buttocks first ,\\, into the awaiting jaws of stinging foliage.
I suspect that when we take such huge leaps of fancy, we should append a warning tag like they do to most TV adverts in which cars are pushed to the limits of their automotive prowess - you know the sort of thing "Professional driver on closed circuit - do not try at home." If your hero lowers your heroine butt first into a nettle patch, you might consider appending a not dissimilar warning to your epic masterpiece.
Playing away from home
We marry our partners because not marrying them would be the worse thing that could happen in our lives. In general - I suppose there are still some marriages of convenience, but in this modern age so few as to be left out of the equation. Being free agents, we enter into marriage because of all that our partner brings to complete the partnership, and regardless of any defects and faults that may be in the offing.
Which is why, for a number of reasons, we spankos end up marrying partners who are totally and rigorously committed to the vanilla side of the equation. Should they be coaxed into experimentation - and often we don't even bother trying any such coaxing - the experiment is so clearly a disaster, it is never tried a second time.
We accept that our soul mate is not into spanking, and that means there will be no spankings within the marrage.
But what about outside it? At what point does fulfilling a fetish stop being innocent entertainment and conduct that counts as infidelity?
Morality is not easy. Despite the attempts of the ancients to instill a unified code of correct conduct for human beings, morality is still a very personal scale of what is wrong and what is right. Most of us agree, even if only from a passing nod to the Golden Rule, that stealing is wrong. But any Tax Inspector will tell you that it is estimated that over 90% of tax returns show a liability to taxation than a more "correct" application of the tax code would have resulted in. And I am talking about blatant inflation of allowable expenses or reduction in declared income to achieve a lower taxation burden. As it is almost universal that you do not steal a widow's wedding ring for personal gain, telling lies on your tax return is fair game.
So - having a spanking partner outside of marriage. If you follow a Calvinistic or Puritanical way of thinking, you are definitely in breach of your marriage vows. And if not, the justification for satisfying your personal needs gets easier and easier the futher away you move from such arbitrary ways of thinking. Unless your relationship is so open, that the two of you have come to some understanding of what, and what is not, permitted and permissible. But since forgiveness is often easier to get than permission, perhaps the matter has not yet been broached.
In the absences of such an understanding, the first question to ask is whether your partner actually knows of your interest in spanking. The nearer the answer to that is "yes", the less deceipt that is likely to be in play. Second, if your partner caught you in the act, how angry would that partner be? The more certain the act would be forgiven and forgotten immediately, not only the less likely you deed would be seen as an infidelity, the less need you ought to have from keeping it a secret.
As one of my vanilla partners said "I don;\'t care where the hell you get your appetite from, provided that you always eat at home." Now, should you be -unlike me - one of those whose spanking activity invariably leads to an erotic episode with your spanking partner: well, perhaps marrying a vanilla was not the best decision you have ever made in your life. But you knew that without me being so tactless as to remind you of the fact,
In all things marital, we constantly interface with people outside the marital bond: I think both partners are entitled that the other do nothing in any of those interactions what would be seriously upsetting. For, to be quite candid, I would be seriously ticked off with my better half if I discovered she was indulging in her secret desires with some third party because she was too shy to tell me about her need for such indulgences, And under the sauce for the goose precept - knowing that keeps me within the clear and understood rules that my partner and I live our personal lives by,
Which is why, for a number of reasons, we spankos end up marrying partners who are totally and rigorously committed to the vanilla side of the equation. Should they be coaxed into experimentation - and often we don't even bother trying any such coaxing - the experiment is so clearly a disaster, it is never tried a second time.
We accept that our soul mate is not into spanking, and that means there will be no spankings within the marrage.
But what about outside it? At what point does fulfilling a fetish stop being innocent entertainment and conduct that counts as infidelity?
Morality is not easy. Despite the attempts of the ancients to instill a unified code of correct conduct for human beings, morality is still a very personal scale of what is wrong and what is right. Most of us agree, even if only from a passing nod to the Golden Rule, that stealing is wrong. But any Tax Inspector will tell you that it is estimated that over 90% of tax returns show a liability to taxation than a more "correct" application of the tax code would have resulted in. And I am talking about blatant inflation of allowable expenses or reduction in declared income to achieve a lower taxation burden. As it is almost universal that you do not steal a widow's wedding ring for personal gain, telling lies on your tax return is fair game.
So - having a spanking partner outside of marriage. If you follow a Calvinistic or Puritanical way of thinking, you are definitely in breach of your marriage vows. And if not, the justification for satisfying your personal needs gets easier and easier the futher away you move from such arbitrary ways of thinking. Unless your relationship is so open, that the two of you have come to some understanding of what, and what is not, permitted and permissible. But since forgiveness is often easier to get than permission, perhaps the matter has not yet been broached.
In the absences of such an understanding, the first question to ask is whether your partner actually knows of your interest in spanking. The nearer the answer to that is "yes", the less deceipt that is likely to be in play. Second, if your partner caught you in the act, how angry would that partner be? The more certain the act would be forgiven and forgotten immediately, not only the less likely you deed would be seen as an infidelity, the less need you ought to have from keeping it a secret.
As one of my vanilla partners said "I don;\'t care where the hell you get your appetite from, provided that you always eat at home." Now, should you be -unlike me - one of those whose spanking activity invariably leads to an erotic episode with your spanking partner: well, perhaps marrying a vanilla was not the best decision you have ever made in your life. But you knew that without me being so tactless as to remind you of the fact,
In all things marital, we constantly interface with people outside the marital bond: I think both partners are entitled that the other do nothing in any of those interactions what would be seriously upsetting. For, to be quite candid, I would be seriously ticked off with my better half if I discovered she was indulging in her secret desires with some third party because she was too shy to tell me about her need for such indulgences, And under the sauce for the goose precept - knowing that keeps me within the clear and understood rules that my partner and I live our personal lives by,
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Sleep perchace to dream
From somewhat limited discussions on the topic, spankings rarely turn up in the dreams of spankophiles, and when they do, the dreamlike qualities of dreams make such spankings quite unrealistic.
The first problem comes from the way dreams actually get processed by the somnolent brain - a repeat of the same event turns out differently the second time. If, in a dream you go out of a room and return back into the same room, the room will have changed substantially during the few dream moments you were outside of it. This is not some oddity, it is the way in which dreams work. Suppose you were able to look closely at the back of your dream hand while dreaming: it would not look like the one you see during the day: the dream one would be an almost fluidlike surface, constantly changing in pattern as you look at it.
And there are at least two huge problems with dream spankings. A dream arm cannot "move" through the air at the same speed as a real life one. If you carry out a spanking, it will be delivered in slow motion by a leaden arm. A similar sensation is also felt when you try to run: your dream legs cannot move as quickly as real life ones, and you will experience "lead-legs".
Furthermore, it is nearly impossible to feel pain in a dream, except as an echo of a real pain the body is experiencing at the time. If you go to bed with an un-spanked bottom, no dream can give it any sort of realistic tingle. If your butt should be freshly spanked, then your dream might possibly reflect an existing pain sensation, even though it cannot create a new one.
The personal dynamics of a dream spanking can easily reflect your conflicted attitude towards your own interest in spanking. If, like the vast majority of us, your liking for spankings is a closely kept secret, letting the cat out of the bag in a dream is just as difficult as if it were to occur in real life. The horror of those people you know - who have turned up in your dream - learning your secret might be so strong as to wake you up as efficiently has having had a more traditional nightmare.
In sum, dream spankings rarely bring any deep pleasure to a spanko. Once in a blue moon, you might experience one that was as good as watching an on line video. Treasure the moment - it might be a long time before you get a repeat performance.
The first problem comes from the way dreams actually get processed by the somnolent brain - a repeat of the same event turns out differently the second time. If, in a dream you go out of a room and return back into the same room, the room will have changed substantially during the few dream moments you were outside of it. This is not some oddity, it is the way in which dreams work. Suppose you were able to look closely at the back of your dream hand while dreaming: it would not look like the one you see during the day: the dream one would be an almost fluidlike surface, constantly changing in pattern as you look at it.
And there are at least two huge problems with dream spankings. A dream arm cannot "move" through the air at the same speed as a real life one. If you carry out a spanking, it will be delivered in slow motion by a leaden arm. A similar sensation is also felt when you try to run: your dream legs cannot move as quickly as real life ones, and you will experience "lead-legs".
Furthermore, it is nearly impossible to feel pain in a dream, except as an echo of a real pain the body is experiencing at the time. If you go to bed with an un-spanked bottom, no dream can give it any sort of realistic tingle. If your butt should be freshly spanked, then your dream might possibly reflect an existing pain sensation, even though it cannot create a new one.
The personal dynamics of a dream spanking can easily reflect your conflicted attitude towards your own interest in spanking. If, like the vast majority of us, your liking for spankings is a closely kept secret, letting the cat out of the bag in a dream is just as difficult as if it were to occur in real life. The horror of those people you know - who have turned up in your dream - learning your secret might be so strong as to wake you up as efficiently has having had a more traditional nightmare.
In sum, dream spankings rarely bring any deep pleasure to a spanko. Once in a blue moon, you might experience one that was as good as watching an on line video. Treasure the moment - it might be a long time before you get a repeat performance.
Fandom fiction
There is a sub-genre - virtually exclusively in the hands of amateur authors posting to free story sites - of using famous characters from TV, film or written work and using them in a tale.
There are several levels of psychology going on: particularly in the world of spanking fiction.
The easiest one to understand is that the author does not have to spend any narrative on setting up who the characters are, and how they are supposed to interact. If you should elect to have Hermione Granger subjected to corporal punishment by Professor Snape (a tale that really exists on one forum) you do not need to spend time on descriptions or motives. Your fellow Harry Potter fans know exactly who these two are, and why Snape would wish to inflict grievous damage to Miss Granger's hind-quarters. However, you need to keep the tale posted only to some rather obscure site - J.K. Rowling's legal team would have no problem in swinging into action if they had a case you were making profit from copyright infringement.
But if you are safe from legal jeopardy, then it is just a matter of tweaking these pre-set characters to react they way you want. In Book One itself, Hermione (with good intentions) did set fire to Snape's cloak. In your tale, you might add that she later discovers that the ancient student code of corporal punishment for students - who cause actual bodily harm to staff members - was not included in the re-write. That student law is still valid, despite the intent to repeal it. Being that sort of girl, she demands that Snape follow the rules exactly as written. You could even give Professor Minerva McGonagall a serious frown as she warns Hermione that the pain will soon fade, but not the memory that Snape will have seen her bare bottom. See how easy it is!
The second theme is that you can fantasize about just anybody, and make them do your bid and call within the confines of a fandom piece. Perhaps you think that Haley's mother should have taken a hair brush to her rump before now. Voila - in your tale that is exactly what happens. And when you watch all future episodes of that TV comedy series, the relationship of those two onscreen figures will, in your mind, be tempered by that good hiding Mom once gave her teenage daughter.
For the readers of fandom fiction, their motivation is less obvious to me. Full disclosure - I do not enjoy reading fandom fiction. But I can make some guesses. Once the book, film, series is over, then there will be no more from that source. So it is just great that some other sources take over to explore what and how your favorite characters continue after the "official" media is done with them. People go to, for example, a Harry Potter fandom site for the sheer delight of new thoughts and ideas being expounded - provided that all of them stay in role forever. Try to explore Snape's feminine side, and you might find you have become most unpopular on the site.
So fandom fiction gives us rapid access to existing personae and lets them follow our script, provided they stay in their original roles. A not total waste of time, but you should only write stuff for sharing it with fellow enthusiasts, and for free. Having said that, if your piece gives you a fully fledged outline for a professional piece, all you have to do is rewrite it with brand new characters. Granted, they will need fleshing out: but all the hard work is already done. For a wordsmith, this is going to be one of those easy-peasy assignments.
There are several levels of psychology going on: particularly in the world of spanking fiction.
The easiest one to understand is that the author does not have to spend any narrative on setting up who the characters are, and how they are supposed to interact. If you should elect to have Hermione Granger subjected to corporal punishment by Professor Snape (a tale that really exists on one forum) you do not need to spend time on descriptions or motives. Your fellow Harry Potter fans know exactly who these two are, and why Snape would wish to inflict grievous damage to Miss Granger's hind-quarters. However, you need to keep the tale posted only to some rather obscure site - J.K. Rowling's legal team would have no problem in swinging into action if they had a case you were making profit from copyright infringement.
But if you are safe from legal jeopardy, then it is just a matter of tweaking these pre-set characters to react they way you want. In Book One itself, Hermione (with good intentions) did set fire to Snape's cloak. In your tale, you might add that she later discovers that the ancient student code of corporal punishment for students - who cause actual bodily harm to staff members - was not included in the re-write. That student law is still valid, despite the intent to repeal it. Being that sort of girl, she demands that Snape follow the rules exactly as written. You could even give Professor Minerva McGonagall a serious frown as she warns Hermione that the pain will soon fade, but not the memory that Snape will have seen her bare bottom. See how easy it is!
The second theme is that you can fantasize about just anybody, and make them do your bid and call within the confines of a fandom piece. Perhaps you think that Haley's mother should have taken a hair brush to her rump before now. Voila - in your tale that is exactly what happens. And when you watch all future episodes of that TV comedy series, the relationship of those two onscreen figures will, in your mind, be tempered by that good hiding Mom once gave her teenage daughter.
For the readers of fandom fiction, their motivation is less obvious to me. Full disclosure - I do not enjoy reading fandom fiction. But I can make some guesses. Once the book, film, series is over, then there will be no more from that source. So it is just great that some other sources take over to explore what and how your favorite characters continue after the "official" media is done with them. People go to, for example, a Harry Potter fandom site for the sheer delight of new thoughts and ideas being expounded - provided that all of them stay in role forever. Try to explore Snape's feminine side, and you might find you have become most unpopular on the site.
So fandom fiction gives us rapid access to existing personae and lets them follow our script, provided they stay in their original roles. A not total waste of time, but you should only write stuff for sharing it with fellow enthusiasts, and for free. Having said that, if your piece gives you a fully fledged outline for a professional piece, all you have to do is rewrite it with brand new characters. Granted, they will need fleshing out: but all the hard work is already done. For a wordsmith, this is going to be one of those easy-peasy assignments.
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