Most of the modern acceptance of all things spanking is probably rooted in it being a more widely enjoyed kink than first thought, and, in the main, between consenting adults, it is both harmless and fun.
And then along came 50 Shades.
A book of the "wringing wet panties" purple prose written by a writer who has no idea whatsoever what makes us tick, with cardboard characters who do not act in the way we do. But if that was where it ended, that would not be such a big problem for us today.
It is that it spawned a hugely successful movie which managed to magnify the faults in the original work and not bring one iota of sense and sensibility back into the topic. And to top it all, the lead actress made in plain that she had to use a stand-in for the spanking scene on the grounds that she is thoroughly appalled by the idea that having her bottom smacked would be anything other than an outrage to her dignity and her womanhood. (At least Maggie Gyllenhaal did proper research and performed will in the slightly less damaged "Secretary").
If you read the book and/or view the film with no prior knowledge of the spanking kink, you would learn that male spankers acquire the fetish through being sexually abused as adolescents, have no interest in what their partners need or want, and simply whale away as the only means they have of obtaining an erection. That is, the spanker is a psychologically-troubled hedonistic chauvinist who uses his partner in place of Viagra.
Safewords? A useful thing to ignore to show your partner that your needs out-trump hers. Safe and consensual? She came back for more, didn't she? Someone that out of her mind does not need any safety.
We need to let the world know that we are not criminally insane psychopaths whose only interest is getting horny by abusing those who, for reasons beyond all comprehension, love us and allow us to mistreat them in such a brutal manner.
Most spankos almost universally agree that the first duty of a spanker is to serve the needs of the spankee. There is almost invariably a "limits and boundaries" chat before any action starts - to make it clear what the recipient would like, and that the deliverer is able and willing to work within and as far as those likes. In reality, it is the spankee who controls the scene, and if the spanker forgets it, the door is quickly shown and slammed shut shortly thereafter. And more than one top has withdrawn from a relationship when the partner wanted to go beyond the top's own comfort zone.
It will not be easy for us. Surverys show that over 70% believe that non-spankers think that we are indeed psychologically abnormal - despite other surveys revealing that the vanilla community think no such thing of us.
It is our kink. It is under attack from propaganda generated by people who have no idea what we actually do, served to people who just want to be titillated by the false images thus conjured. We really ought to find some way of setting the record straight.
