Being Yuletide and all, it seemed only right I should let you have another Free Story. We meet Megan and her professor at a time when he was no longer able to impose a
proper method of chastisement should his unruly student ran amok over one
or more of his beloved theories ...
Some of you will be aware of Megan's early adventures with Mister Brown, and how they continued when she was given a place on the Agnostics Studies program at the Downtown University.
Those tales are recounted in the book "Beloved Infidel" which contains three exhilarating novellas (advt) - but this later episode stands as a single story in its own right.
And fear not, gentle reader - no academics were harmed in the making of this episode.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
Stella Performance
In the spirit of the holiday season, I give you a new free short story that has a vaguely Xmas link to it.
Stella Sheridan gets her comeuppance good and proper. And like all good holiday tales it has a happy ending.
Enjoy.
Stella Sheridan gets her comeuppance good and proper. And like all good holiday tales it has a happy ending.
Enjoy.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
blackish
Most spankos in my acquaintance treat M/m, F/m, M/f and F/f spankings as being purely in the realm of discipline. We admit some of our fellow spankos get a kick out watching and reading about such activity - but those fold do seem to be in a tiny minority.
A recent episode of the sitcom "blackish" revolved around whether the son of the lead couple should get spanked for some misdemeanor. Spoiler alert - in the event, he did not.
But on the way, various stereotypical characters we able to make various stereotypical comments about the goods and evils of the corporal punishment of juveniles. An added canned laugh track made it all seem fresh, original and humorous.
Perhaps it is the series, or the topic, but I found nothing to smile about while watching this episode. But as a matter of full disclosure, that is true of all the episodes that I have watched so far. Perhaps I am the wrong demographic.
But since two thirds or all spankos are anti-juvenile corporal punishment of any kind, it may be just that most spankos are hard wired not to find gratuitous humor to be found within the topic of beating kids - no matter how abstract the discussion is. It is not impossible to divvy up a smile-worthy gag about spankings, just that the task seems to be too high a hurdle for most script writers to clear.
I think it might be some sort of move in the right direction. That beating kids can be a suitable sitcom topic shows some sort of loosening of the ties over all things spanking: it is just that on this occasion, it was one that I would not have minded having been left in place. By all means have serious discussions whether spanking of kids is an acceptable method of discipline: but perhaps it is not a good thing to try to make you think the subject is quite hilarious.
A recent episode of the sitcom "blackish" revolved around whether the son of the lead couple should get spanked for some misdemeanor. Spoiler alert - in the event, he did not.
But on the way, various stereotypical characters we able to make various stereotypical comments about the goods and evils of the corporal punishment of juveniles. An added canned laugh track made it all seem fresh, original and humorous.
Perhaps it is the series, or the topic, but I found nothing to smile about while watching this episode. But as a matter of full disclosure, that is true of all the episodes that I have watched so far. Perhaps I am the wrong demographic.
But since two thirds or all spankos are anti-juvenile corporal punishment of any kind, it may be just that most spankos are hard wired not to find gratuitous humor to be found within the topic of beating kids - no matter how abstract the discussion is. It is not impossible to divvy up a smile-worthy gag about spankings, just that the task seems to be too high a hurdle for most script writers to clear.
I think it might be some sort of move in the right direction. That beating kids can be a suitable sitcom topic shows some sort of loosening of the ties over all things spanking: it is just that on this occasion, it was one that I would not have minded having been left in place. By all means have serious discussions whether spanking of kids is an acceptable method of discipline: but perhaps it is not a good thing to try to make you think the subject is quite hilarious.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Marry Me
The pilot episode of a new sitcom called "Marry Me" had a quick one swat to the butt of the female lead.
It was an "atta girl" spank from the left hand of the lead male (I think left hand is code for "not as hard as it could be"). The accompanying sound effect was fairly meaty.
And her reaction? The best I an describe it is one of eye-wide polite disbelief. Our mainstream scriptwriters are still struggling with the new-age acceptance of spanks between consulting adults as both tokens of affection as well as signals of interest in making some much more personal interaction.
In the world at large, we now regularly see sports players give "well done" swats to fellow team members (it was all very quick, but I suspect that Abby Wambauch gave a fellow soccer player such a swat to a team mate in the recent CONCACAF cup final game). Even a "So You Think You Can Dance" got a "We with you" sort of swat on one show when told that she was in danger of being eliminated from the contest.
This is the new age of acceptance of spanks between adults - but our stalwart script writers are having a hard time of coming to terms with it. Perhaps they are of our ilk - they certainly do seem to seize every opportunity to get some mild spank activity into an episode - but are still in the closet and are hiding their true knowledge of what it all about. No - that cannot be right.
Perhaps we should all drop a line to sitcom writers to let them know how to give a true portrayal of what we do. For we spankos are very helpful souls when it comes to assisting our fellow men ...
It was an "atta girl" spank from the left hand of the lead male (I think left hand is code for "not as hard as it could be"). The accompanying sound effect was fairly meaty.
And her reaction? The best I an describe it is one of eye-wide polite disbelief. Our mainstream scriptwriters are still struggling with the new-age acceptance of spanks between consulting adults as both tokens of affection as well as signals of interest in making some much more personal interaction.
In the world at large, we now regularly see sports players give "well done" swats to fellow team members (it was all very quick, but I suspect that Abby Wambauch gave a fellow soccer player such a swat to a team mate in the recent CONCACAF cup final game). Even a "So You Think You Can Dance" got a "We with you" sort of swat on one show when told that she was in danger of being eliminated from the contest.
This is the new age of acceptance of spanks between adults - but our stalwart script writers are having a hard time of coming to terms with it. Perhaps they are of our ilk - they certainly do seem to seize every opportunity to get some mild spank activity into an episode - but are still in the closet and are hiding their true knowledge of what it all about. No - that cannot be right.
Perhaps we should all drop a line to sitcom writers to let them know how to give a true portrayal of what we do. For we spankos are very helpful souls when it comes to assisting our fellow men ...
Monday, October 27, 2014
What did she really mean?
I am not a follower of "How To Get Away With Murder" (ABC crime series) but when the latest episode was playing in the background, I was startled enough to sit up and take note when one female character said to her lawyer "I've been staring at the wall for three days. f I don't get some company soon, I might go red rum all over your ass. But something tells me you might be into that."
This piece of modern patois is completely alien to me. I came across the term redrum some years ago as a word play based on the fact it is the word murder spelled backwards. But that usage does not seem to easily fit the context of two potential suitors chatting each other up.
So I am definitely non-plussed, and feel that I ought not to be. So, dear reader, if you can shed some light, by all means drop me an email to share your arcane knowledge of this beguiling topic ...
This piece of modern patois is completely alien to me. I came across the term redrum some years ago as a word play based on the fact it is the word murder spelled backwards. But that usage does not seem to easily fit the context of two potential suitors chatting each other up.
So I am definitely non-plussed, and feel that I ought not to be. So, dear reader, if you can shed some light, by all means drop me an email to share your arcane knowledge of this beguiling topic ...
Monday, August 18, 2014
Outlandish Outlander?
Eying the box-office HBO gleaned from its own production of "Game of Thrones", Showtime has responded by picking up the broadcast rights of Diana Gabaldon's Outlander to make its own mini-series blockbuster.
There is some hub-bub going out in both spanko and vanilla circles, for the book contains a fairly lengthy and detailed spanking scene. He says "Stay put or I shall spank you." She does not stay put, and a spanking scene ensures. Just the one, for when it is over, the hero promises the heroine never to repeat the exercise. A disappoint to some readers, I am sure, and possible to Diana herself who allows many of her characters to contemplate the spanking of one backside or another. If she is not one of us, she sure has learned how to ring some of our bells.
Some vanillas wring their hands that the spanking scene - which will be shown in full, in all its glory, - because it is attracting the "wrong sort" of attention to one of their favorite bodice-rippers. Not that they have anything against spankos, per se - just that dozens of hours of heady romance is being reduced in the public eye to a single event: and one that is not that important to the story line as a whole.
But at least Showtime is sticking with the text on this one. You may recall that HBO replaced a reasonable and deserved spanking of Ayra with a totally made up one involving prostitutes. (Not sure what went wrong there - except HBO possibly did not want to show a young girl being subjected to harsh discipline - or some such).
Anyway - you do not have to subscribe to Showtime to enjoy this promised treat - it is bound to make its way on to one of the video channels, where you will be able to watch it for free. And as soon as one springs up, I shall give you the nod where to find it.
There is some hub-bub going out in both spanko and vanilla circles, for the book contains a fairly lengthy and detailed spanking scene. He says "Stay put or I shall spank you." She does not stay put, and a spanking scene ensures. Just the one, for when it is over, the hero promises the heroine never to repeat the exercise. A disappoint to some readers, I am sure, and possible to Diana herself who allows many of her characters to contemplate the spanking of one backside or another. If she is not one of us, she sure has learned how to ring some of our bells.
Some vanillas wring their hands that the spanking scene - which will be shown in full, in all its glory, - because it is attracting the "wrong sort" of attention to one of their favorite bodice-rippers. Not that they have anything against spankos, per se - just that dozens of hours of heady romance is being reduced in the public eye to a single event: and one that is not that important to the story line as a whole.
But at least Showtime is sticking with the text on this one. You may recall that HBO replaced a reasonable and deserved spanking of Ayra with a totally made up one involving prostitutes. (Not sure what went wrong there - except HBO possibly did not want to show a young girl being subjected to harsh discipline - or some such).
Anyway - you do not have to subscribe to Showtime to enjoy this promised treat - it is bound to make its way on to one of the video channels, where you will be able to watch it for free. And as soon as one springs up, I shall give you the nod where to find it.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
You do make back up copies of your work, don't you?
Computers are annoying in that 99.99% of the time they work perfectly.
But the 0.01% of the time that they don't, the consequences can be quite traumatic.
So, we authors are in the habit of making copies of our work in progress, and storing it safe from the electronic mayhem of a crashed hard drive, or other total system failure.
My machine crashed recently - in a way that took away all the data files held within its memory banks.
And it now seems that the last time I backed up my data was many months ago - which means I have lost all my current work in progress. All of it. (That rhythmic sound of a distant thumping is my head hitting the wall in a vain attempt to ease the pain).
At least, if my gentle prod makes you remember to back up your stuff today, then some good might come out of this personal disaster...
But the 0.01% of the time that they don't, the consequences can be quite traumatic.
So, we authors are in the habit of making copies of our work in progress, and storing it safe from the electronic mayhem of a crashed hard drive, or other total system failure.
My machine crashed recently - in a way that took away all the data files held within its memory banks.
And it now seems that the last time I backed up my data was many months ago - which means I have lost all my current work in progress. All of it. (That rhythmic sound of a distant thumping is my head hitting the wall in a vain attempt to ease the pain).
At least, if my gentle prod makes you remember to back up your stuff today, then some good might come out of this personal disaster...
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
They just don't get it.
We spankos have some odd ideas what non-spankos might think of us. We suspect that they don't understand us, and some of us go so far as to fear that main-line vanillas think we need medical treatment because we are a potential danger to children. Not that we are - just that vanillas might mistakenly think we are in need of treatment.
A recent survey revealed that of those vanillas who respond to spanking surveys, not one single one ticked either the "need medical attention" or "danger to children" boxes. We are talking a relative small sample (50 respondents) with no control group: but 0% suggests that we might possibly be a bit over cautious in how we think people will react to the news should it get out that we are spankos. And - as you might expect - over half did tick the "I don't understand spankos" box : we got that one right.
Of a couple of dozen spankos who tell me that they made their spanking inclination more wide known, only one reported (to me) an adverse reaction: and that was limited to a single friend who took it rather badly. If your experiences have been different, do share.
But there is one aspect of our predilection that vanillas just do not get.
A new survey is in the course of being set up to investigate deeper into what makes us tick and what the vanilla community think of us. While researching what questions to pose, I came over and over again the point that spanking as part of our sex drive is understandable - if a bit odd - to the average vanilla. But spanking just for the sake of spanking - with nothing to follow (save, perhaps, some corner time) - that seems to be beyond their capacity to understand.
And yet both you and I know that sometimes the spanking is the beginning and the end - the whole caboodle is the spanking and nothing but the spanking. Indeed, spanking exclusively as some sort of foreplay would take away a great deal of the enjoyment we get when not looking for a romp in the hay.
This looks like a topic for survey-man to tackle. I shall keep you posted on how it all works out.
A recent survey revealed that of those vanillas who respond to spanking surveys, not one single one ticked either the "need medical attention" or "danger to children" boxes. We are talking a relative small sample (50 respondents) with no control group: but 0% suggests that we might possibly be a bit over cautious in how we think people will react to the news should it get out that we are spankos. And - as you might expect - over half did tick the "I don't understand spankos" box : we got that one right.
Of a couple of dozen spankos who tell me that they made their spanking inclination more wide known, only one reported (to me) an adverse reaction: and that was limited to a single friend who took it rather badly. If your experiences have been different, do share.
But there is one aspect of our predilection that vanillas just do not get.
A new survey is in the course of being set up to investigate deeper into what makes us tick and what the vanilla community think of us. While researching what questions to pose, I came over and over again the point that spanking as part of our sex drive is understandable - if a bit odd - to the average vanilla. But spanking just for the sake of spanking - with nothing to follow (save, perhaps, some corner time) - that seems to be beyond their capacity to understand.
And yet both you and I know that sometimes the spanking is the beginning and the end - the whole caboodle is the spanking and nothing but the spanking. Indeed, spanking exclusively as some sort of foreplay would take away a great deal of the enjoyment we get when not looking for a romp in the hay.
This looks like a topic for survey-man to tackle. I shall keep you posted on how it all works out.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Just Wilhelmina and the Bridge Game
The young prankster known by her family as "Just Wilhelmina" is the subject of this brand new story that you will find in the Free Stories section.
By way of back-fill for those who have not met Wilhelmina before, she is a teenager who leads her chums ("the Outlaws") into a series of pranks and scrapes. Being set some time between 1930 and 1940, the consequences of getting caught invariably lead to a spanking of one kind or another. It is the price one had to pay - back then - for having too much fun at the expense of grown-ups.
In this tale, Wilhelmina pulls off a solo prank against her hapless parents. You might guess what then happens - yes, it does pretty much turn out like that.
By way of back-fill for those who have not met Wilhelmina before, she is a teenager who leads her chums ("the Outlaws") into a series of pranks and scrapes. Being set some time between 1930 and 1940, the consequences of getting caught invariably lead to a spanking of one kind or another. It is the price one had to pay - back then - for having too much fun at the expense of grown-ups.
In this tale, Wilhelmina pulls off a solo prank against her hapless parents. You might guess what then happens - yes, it does pretty much turn out like that.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Kindle Unlimited
In a move to secure even a bigger share of the e-book market, Amazon has launched Kindle Unlimited - full details on their site if you need them - but the edited high lights are that people pay just under $10 a month to have access to just about their entire e-book library. Like video streaming, but for hard copy instead.
We authors are promised a share of the pool of cash Amazon has set up to reward us if people read our books using this subscription service. The good thing (for us) is that as soon as a reader reads 10% of the book (typically less than free preview we offer) you get a full credit. One per subscriber per book, so if the reader reads it from cover to cover twice, we only get just the one credit.
The minor drawbacks - first, we have no idea how much we have earned until the share out takes place. I know that one day I will get over 50 (as of today) payments, but the sum will lie anywhere north of 50 cents. And second, in order to participate, I had to put the works inside the Kindle Select program. That is, I have to give Amazon a 90 day, non-cancellable, exclusive right to sell them. I have had to take those books off all other sites, in order to avoid any potential nastiness with Amazon. Since about 95% of my sales have come from Amazon so far, it is not a particular big deal for me. But if you are a fellow author, it may be for you.
In sum, for giving Amazon a three month exclusive right to sell your works, you may get an unspecified sum from people who purchased a subscription in order to read your stuff.
And that might be a difficult dilemma to solve. Will the additional revenue from Kindle Unlimited be sufficient to compensate for lost sales elsewhere? No one yet quite knows. May be it might be prudent to wait until some actual sales figures are out - so that you can properly weigh the proper odds.
I shall certainly give the tip off as to how much it was worth to have a book read by a subscriber this month - once I get to know what the figure is.
We authors are promised a share of the pool of cash Amazon has set up to reward us if people read our books using this subscription service. The good thing (for us) is that as soon as a reader reads 10% of the book (typically less than free preview we offer) you get a full credit. One per subscriber per book, so if the reader reads it from cover to cover twice, we only get just the one credit.
The minor drawbacks - first, we have no idea how much we have earned until the share out takes place. I know that one day I will get over 50 (as of today) payments, but the sum will lie anywhere north of 50 cents. And second, in order to participate, I had to put the works inside the Kindle Select program. That is, I have to give Amazon a 90 day, non-cancellable, exclusive right to sell them. I have had to take those books off all other sites, in order to avoid any potential nastiness with Amazon. Since about 95% of my sales have come from Amazon so far, it is not a particular big deal for me. But if you are a fellow author, it may be for you.
In sum, for giving Amazon a three month exclusive right to sell your works, you may get an unspecified sum from people who purchased a subscription in order to read your stuff.
And that might be a difficult dilemma to solve. Will the additional revenue from Kindle Unlimited be sufficient to compensate for lost sales elsewhere? No one yet quite knows. May be it might be prudent to wait until some actual sales figures are out - so that you can properly weigh the proper odds.
I shall certainly give the tip off as to how much it was worth to have a book read by a subscriber this month - once I get to know what the figure is.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Is Spanking the new normal?
Well, we are not there yet, but there are some promising signs.
Take the recent events at Tumblr. A blogger called Cliff James used tumblr to post his own spanking photos and was, presumably, making a good living driving traffic to the numerous pay site links that appeared on his pages.
However, one of his blogs was called "Thespankingblogtaker" where he would list all the other photo blogs that he wished Tumblr to cancel, on the grounds of unspecific and unspecified allegations of copyright violations. Tumblr policy used to be that a claim of copyright violation was grounds to kill a tumblr site - and they routinely did so without wasting time on investigating whether a claim was valid or not. It was a spanking site, for crying out loud: who cares what happens to them?
Not only was his most recently published list totally ignored, in what some see as wicked poetic justice, it was the "Thespankingblogtaker" blog that vanished in a puff of administrative censorship. (I am against all forms of censorship that is not in pursuance of State or International Law: so by my lights they should have let his site stand as an epitaph to a mind that seemed to have been riddled with mean-spiritedness)
So, perhaps Tumblr has taken on the growing trend that spanking between consenting adults is normal. One hopes so, and the evidence that this might be the case is pretty solid. No new round of disappearing spanking blogs - and good bye to the blog that only existed to champion that questionable cause.
Elsewhere, we have seen that several TV companies have embraced this new way of thinking, even if the HBO script writers made a right mess of the subject in one episode of The Game of Thrones. In other series, spankings occur or are discussed without embarrassed leers or sneers.
We are not yet out of the woods. Googol search is mildly anti-spanking, and the Googol linked page editor called IGHome is virulently anti-spanking: any search on that page that contains the word spanking or its synonyms invariably returns a "no-results found" message. The puritans who run that good ship have to protect ourselves from ourselves in case we inadvertently go and enjoy ourselves with material that they have not approved.
But we are winning. Even dancers competing on So You Think You Can Dance can give each other friendly "good luck" swats on the rump without risking public outrage. Way to go, contestants, and more power your arms!
Take the recent events at Tumblr. A blogger called Cliff James used tumblr to post his own spanking photos and was, presumably, making a good living driving traffic to the numerous pay site links that appeared on his pages.
However, one of his blogs was called "Thespankingblogtaker" where he would list all the other photo blogs that he wished Tumblr to cancel, on the grounds of unspecific and unspecified allegations of copyright violations. Tumblr policy used to be that a claim of copyright violation was grounds to kill a tumblr site - and they routinely did so without wasting time on investigating whether a claim was valid or not. It was a spanking site, for crying out loud: who cares what happens to them?
Not only was his most recently published list totally ignored, in what some see as wicked poetic justice, it was the "Thespankingblogtaker" blog that vanished in a puff of administrative censorship. (I am against all forms of censorship that is not in pursuance of State or International Law: so by my lights they should have let his site stand as an epitaph to a mind that seemed to have been riddled with mean-spiritedness)
So, perhaps Tumblr has taken on the growing trend that spanking between consenting adults is normal. One hopes so, and the evidence that this might be the case is pretty solid. No new round of disappearing spanking blogs - and good bye to the blog that only existed to champion that questionable cause.
Elsewhere, we have seen that several TV companies have embraced this new way of thinking, even if the HBO script writers made a right mess of the subject in one episode of The Game of Thrones. In other series, spankings occur or are discussed without embarrassed leers or sneers.
We are not yet out of the woods. Googol search is mildly anti-spanking, and the Googol linked page editor called IGHome is virulently anti-spanking: any search on that page that contains the word spanking or its synonyms invariably returns a "no-results found" message. The puritans who run that good ship have to protect ourselves from ourselves in case we inadvertently go and enjoy ourselves with material that they have not approved.
But we are winning. Even dancers competing on So You Think You Can Dance can give each other friendly "good luck" swats on the rump without risking public outrage. Way to go, contestants, and more power your arms!
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Friday, July 4, 2014
July 4th Promotion
For 5 days, starting July 4th, you can get a copy of the novel The Gleam in Her Eyes absolutely free.
No strings - honest - no sign ups, no giving out your email address or any other trick. Simply go to Amazon, and "buy" a free copy.
The price goes back to its normal level on July 9th - so if you want to get your hands on this erotic masterpiece (advt.) you had better beetle across to this page a bit sharpish and score yourself some reading pleasure.
Enjoy!
No strings - honest - no sign ups, no giving out your email address or any other trick. Simply go to Amazon, and "buy" a free copy.
The price goes back to its normal level on July 9th - so if you want to get your hands on this erotic masterpiece (advt.) you had better beetle across to this page a bit sharpish and score yourself some reading pleasure.
Enjoy!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Z is for Zwounds
We authors sometimes allow ourselves to fall into the trap of using technically correct words regardless of what our users may have in their vocabulary, or using obscure words for the sole purpose of revealing the meaning of them.
For example. if I had a tale that was set in North West England, I might construct a sentence that reads "The house stood on the bonking overlooking the River Mersey." After poring through lexicons of regional dialect, one or more readers might exclaim "Gosh Dave, you used a local word that describes a low hill side on one side of a plateau, not one of pair that make up a valley - wow, you is my hero of wordsmithpersonship." Yeah - right.
But such usage happens. One of our colleagues came up with "nates" in a context that clearly showed the word is a synonym of "buttocks". Nates? That author had presumably plumbed obscure, ancient dictionaries so as to tickle our delight by coming up with a brand new (to us) but totally authentic alternative to "bottom". And we were expected to be delighted, not snorting with derision.
The other time we are tempted to use an obscure word is that we have learned what it really means, and which to share our gleaned knowledge with a wider audience.
Let me explain further. In the times of the Cavaliers and Roundheads battling out a civil war in the UK, it became the custom of those days to use the body parts of the divine as swear words. "God's body" for example. And "God's teeth" for another.
Such profanity was not fit for polite society, so the initial "G" got dropped. 'ods body and 'ods teeth was far, far milder. (segue: "Oddsbodikins" transcribes as "God's little body" - I bet you didn't know that.)
And then to make it even milder, the "od" got censored as well, leaving us with a mild cuss still in use today: "Steeth"
Zwounds started out as "God's Wounds" and became "'Ods wounds" which morphed into "Swounds" and then inexplicably into "Zwounds". And there you have it: a medieval cuss word laid bare after such clinical dissection.
You may be so enraptured with your new knowledge that you want to set up some dialogue in your next tale so that you can share it with your readership. You know the sort of thing: "Professor, put that cane down for a moment and do tell me what the word Zwounds really means ..."
Don't do it. Your readers really don't give a damn that you have obscure regional dialect at your fingertips or have the ability to explain the etymology of any and every word your characters come to utter. All they care about is that the spanking that is being set up in your introduction gets delivered in luscious detail. Go back to basics and keep it simple. Not stupidly so, but enough to keep your reader apace with your plot.
If you really have a need to explain the origin of the word Zwounds, save it for the last article in a series of 26 that go through every letter of the alphabet. Then you might get away with it.
(Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible - (advt.)).
For example. if I had a tale that was set in North West England, I might construct a sentence that reads "The house stood on the bonking overlooking the River Mersey." After poring through lexicons of regional dialect, one or more readers might exclaim "Gosh Dave, you used a local word that describes a low hill side on one side of a plateau, not one of pair that make up a valley - wow, you is my hero of wordsmithpersonship." Yeah - right.
But such usage happens. One of our colleagues came up with "nates" in a context that clearly showed the word is a synonym of "buttocks". Nates? That author had presumably plumbed obscure, ancient dictionaries so as to tickle our delight by coming up with a brand new (to us) but totally authentic alternative to "bottom". And we were expected to be delighted, not snorting with derision.
The other time we are tempted to use an obscure word is that we have learned what it really means, and which to share our gleaned knowledge with a wider audience.
Let me explain further. In the times of the Cavaliers and Roundheads battling out a civil war in the UK, it became the custom of those days to use the body parts of the divine as swear words. "God's body" for example. And "God's teeth" for another.
Such profanity was not fit for polite society, so the initial "G" got dropped. 'ods body and 'ods teeth was far, far milder. (segue: "Oddsbodikins" transcribes as "God's little body" - I bet you didn't know that.)
And then to make it even milder, the "od" got censored as well, leaving us with a mild cuss still in use today: "Steeth"
Zwounds started out as "God's Wounds" and became "'Ods wounds" which morphed into "Swounds" and then inexplicably into "Zwounds". And there you have it: a medieval cuss word laid bare after such clinical dissection.
You may be so enraptured with your new knowledge that you want to set up some dialogue in your next tale so that you can share it with your readership. You know the sort of thing: "Professor, put that cane down for a moment and do tell me what the word Zwounds really means ..."
Don't do it. Your readers really don't give a damn that you have obscure regional dialect at your fingertips or have the ability to explain the etymology of any and every word your characters come to utter. All they care about is that the spanking that is being set up in your introduction gets delivered in luscious detail. Go back to basics and keep it simple. Not stupidly so, but enough to keep your reader apace with your plot.
If you really have a need to explain the origin of the word Zwounds, save it for the last article in a series of 26 that go through every letter of the alphabet. Then you might get away with it.
(Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible - (advt.)).
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Y is for You
Yes - you, dear reader without whom all my efforts are totally worthless.
We have never met, but I do have some idea of what makes you tick. Over 400 of you have responded to the survey to give some insight in what things are shared experiences and which ones make us stand apart.
From the pattern of my book sales, I can deduce which plot lines ring a chord with you, and which ones you find a little less than stellar. That's OK - it is my job to fulfill you reading wants, not yours to spend your hard earned cash on stuff just because I am inordinately proud of it. And the number of reads of short stories also give a hint - but that is more an indicator of how intriguing a title is, I rather suspect.
I get some hints - some clear, some obscure - from the comments some of you make about my posts, my stories and my published works.
One hard statistic of e-books is that, on average, it takes about 700 sales to generate one customer review. And since getting such reviews is vital to turning a pot boiler into a best seller, some new authors get friends and family to write glowing reviews for them in order to create some "buzz" about the work. A tactic doomed to failure, for if a new book arrives complete with half a dozen glowing reviews, just about everyone knows that it has not been in circulation long enough to get any reviews at all, and the game is up. If you are going to use phoney reviews, wait four to six months before publishing them and you may succeed with such con tricks.
If your are not an author, it might surprise you to learn that the hard currency for some web sites is the comments from the public at large who visit and partake of the stuff that has been put out for its amusement.
When it comes to the free stuff we hand out, some authors are desperate for comments and reviews. A very promising new picture blog was pulled a couple of years ago because not one of 12,000 visitors had been polite enough to make a comment. Not one single comment. That author - wrongly thinking he was entitled to get responses - was so upset that no-one agreed with that point of view - he pulled the plug rather than changing his mind.
There are free story sites that if a member does not comment after a pre-set number of reads, has membership rights revoked. "Good members" give comments freely, so if you are a "bad member" you can get the hell out of here until your manners improve. Or some such. Their web site - their rules. All is good.
But those ways of thinking do not apply to you, dear reader, while you are visiting this site, to pondering the musings or reading the free tales.
That you pop in from time to time is suffice. All that is published here is for you for without you the entire enterprise is without merit. By all means tell me if anything is less than average. But because you want to, not because I might get peeved if you don't.
We have never met, but I do have some idea of what makes you tick. Over 400 of you have responded to the survey to give some insight in what things are shared experiences and which ones make us stand apart.
From the pattern of my book sales, I can deduce which plot lines ring a chord with you, and which ones you find a little less than stellar. That's OK - it is my job to fulfill you reading wants, not yours to spend your hard earned cash on stuff just because I am inordinately proud of it. And the number of reads of short stories also give a hint - but that is more an indicator of how intriguing a title is, I rather suspect.
I get some hints - some clear, some obscure - from the comments some of you make about my posts, my stories and my published works.
One hard statistic of e-books is that, on average, it takes about 700 sales to generate one customer review. And since getting such reviews is vital to turning a pot boiler into a best seller, some new authors get friends and family to write glowing reviews for them in order to create some "buzz" about the work. A tactic doomed to failure, for if a new book arrives complete with half a dozen glowing reviews, just about everyone knows that it has not been in circulation long enough to get any reviews at all, and the game is up. If you are going to use phoney reviews, wait four to six months before publishing them and you may succeed with such con tricks.
If your are not an author, it might surprise you to learn that the hard currency for some web sites is the comments from the public at large who visit and partake of the stuff that has been put out for its amusement.
When it comes to the free stuff we hand out, some authors are desperate for comments and reviews. A very promising new picture blog was pulled a couple of years ago because not one of 12,000 visitors had been polite enough to make a comment. Not one single comment. That author - wrongly thinking he was entitled to get responses - was so upset that no-one agreed with that point of view - he pulled the plug rather than changing his mind.
There are free story sites that if a member does not comment after a pre-set number of reads, has membership rights revoked. "Good members" give comments freely, so if you are a "bad member" you can get the hell out of here until your manners improve. Or some such. Their web site - their rules. All is good.
But those ways of thinking do not apply to you, dear reader, while you are visiting this site, to pondering the musings or reading the free tales.
That you pop in from time to time is suffice. All that is published here is for you for without you the entire enterprise is without merit. By all means tell me if anything is less than average. But because you want to, not because I might get peeved if you don't.
Friday, June 27, 2014
X is for X-rated
I have no hard evidence, but I think one of the senior Google executives is a hardened anti-spanking nut.
You must have noticed that when you type words into the search bar of Google, you get a list of helpful hints of how to finish off the rest of your inquiry. Unless you start using crude language, and the Maiden-Aunt side of google takes over, and all help is promptly withdrawn.
Within the world of Google, the word "spanking" is in their lexicon of crude language. The word spanking itself is so fraught with peril that when anyone says it, Aunt Google quickly crosses to the other side of the street to avert her eyes away in soulful disbelief that such a word is being used in polite society.
And her team of stalwart blue-noses diligently track down all and any site that might inflame the masses with their spanking content: if you get to the "L" of Nu-west Leda all the helpful search hints vanish from the list. For it is very important to the hardened anti-spanking nut that Googol is never seen to assist spanking freaks get their fill. They wont stop us - that might lose advertising revenue - but they will make it plain that they do not really approve of what we are up to.
Now, as it happens, Blogger is owned - indirectly - by Google. And when we bloggers use crude language or show pictures and/or videos of an adult nature, our blogs are put behind a privacy screen - called the "Mature Content Warning" to ensure only mature audiences get to slake their lust by visiting such sites.
Google claims it does not review the content of sites: it simply responds to hints given to it by people who wish to protect young ones from porn. Having been alerted to a possible adult site masquerading as a family one, Google checks out the blog's SEO keywords and then place it behind a Mature Content warning.
Which you - as an adult and mature web searcher cannot turn off. Every single time you revisit one of your favorite sites, you will have to reconfirm for the umpteenth time that you wish to continue.
Some spanking sites do have language that is extremely raunchy, and other display pictures that make very public the most private of private parts. And, if parents have not set privacy controls on their kid's search options, I suppose their is some sort of case that Aunty Google should take action to hinder the tykes in their quest for knowledge that may be too adult for them. But a button that reads "I wish to continue" - that's supposed to do the trick? Really?
The point is that any blog that regularly discusses spanking material, no matter in what form, it will sooner or later be culled off to sit behind the "Adult Content" warning.
When that happens to me, I do hope that you will continue to wend your way in here. There are serious sides to the thing that we do, and I shall continue to explore them as I have done so far.
You must have noticed that when you type words into the search bar of Google, you get a list of helpful hints of how to finish off the rest of your inquiry. Unless you start using crude language, and the Maiden-Aunt side of google takes over, and all help is promptly withdrawn.
Within the world of Google, the word "spanking" is in their lexicon of crude language. The word spanking itself is so fraught with peril that when anyone says it, Aunt Google quickly crosses to the other side of the street to avert her eyes away in soulful disbelief that such a word is being used in polite society.
And her team of stalwart blue-noses diligently track down all and any site that might inflame the masses with their spanking content: if you get to the "L" of Nu-west Leda all the helpful search hints vanish from the list. For it is very important to the hardened anti-spanking nut that Googol is never seen to assist spanking freaks get their fill. They wont stop us - that might lose advertising revenue - but they will make it plain that they do not really approve of what we are up to.
Now, as it happens, Blogger is owned - indirectly - by Google. And when we bloggers use crude language or show pictures and/or videos of an adult nature, our blogs are put behind a privacy screen - called the "Mature Content Warning" to ensure only mature audiences get to slake their lust by visiting such sites.
Google claims it does not review the content of sites: it simply responds to hints given to it by people who wish to protect young ones from porn. Having been alerted to a possible adult site masquerading as a family one, Google checks out the blog's SEO keywords and then place it behind a Mature Content warning.
Which you - as an adult and mature web searcher cannot turn off. Every single time you revisit one of your favorite sites, you will have to reconfirm for the umpteenth time that you wish to continue.
Some spanking sites do have language that is extremely raunchy, and other display pictures that make very public the most private of private parts. And, if parents have not set privacy controls on their kid's search options, I suppose their is some sort of case that Aunty Google should take action to hinder the tykes in their quest for knowledge that may be too adult for them. But a button that reads "I wish to continue" - that's supposed to do the trick? Really?
The point is that any blog that regularly discusses spanking material, no matter in what form, it will sooner or later be culled off to sit behind the "Adult Content" warning.
When that happens to me, I do hope that you will continue to wend your way in here. There are serious sides to the thing that we do, and I shall continue to explore them as I have done so far.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
W is for Writing and Re-writing
Imagine that you have just finished your very first short story - a veritable mini-masterpiece of wit and erotic tension leading to a very fine description of a spanking that will echo in the butt of every reader. Guess what every managing editor will now recommend you do with it? Go back and rewrite it. As if from scratch.
The hardest chore the beginning author is tasked with is rewriting what has already been written. Particularly if the said author is bursting with pride at the wonderfulness of the literary gem awaiting to be released upon a grateful public.
But it is a discipline that has so much to commend it that I would suggest that if you do not already do it, you should start doing it as soon as possible.
Some ideas of how to go about doing a rewrite:
The original opening paragraph was:
In doing the due diligence of pre-publication review, you may unearth many little literary gems with which to enhance your work and the reading pleasure of your audience. So - I would opine - you really ought to take on the task of doing the re-write phase with positive enthusiasm for what it might bring.
Stream of consciousness may be a fine method of creating that first draft: but it is extremely rare that it is a fine method of producing the finished work. If you get my drift...
The hardest chore the beginning author is tasked with is rewriting what has already been written. Particularly if the said author is bursting with pride at the wonderfulness of the literary gem awaiting to be released upon a grateful public.
But it is a discipline that has so much to commend it that I would suggest that if you do not already do it, you should start doing it as soon as possible.
Some ideas of how to go about doing a rewrite:
- Read the whole tale aloud to see how well it really hangs together, and if the plot develops in a natural and unforced manner.
- Take each paragraph in turn and ask what the paragraph is supposed to achieve, and whether it actually achieves it.
- Then look at each sentence to see if it can be crafted better: perhaps by breaking it up into several sentences, perhaps by using different words that are more effective.
- And repeat the entire sequence you come up with, at least twice.
The original opening paragraph was:
Which turned into:
“Ladies, Gentlemen, let me present you with the XBot 2505!” announced Doctor James Gayhaus with the wild over-enthusiasm often adopted by academics that have been given the task of acting as a pitch-man for a new product launch.
I am not suggesting that your final version will be so dramatically different from the first draft - just pointing out that you might be surprised just how big a change takes place during the process.
The doorbell rang, and a few seconds later I opened it to find a very attractive female standing on my door step. She was without doubt the most beguiling and enchanting young minx I had ever encountered. She wore smart and sassy attire that was both business casual and seductress at large. My mouth dropped slightly.
In doing the due diligence of pre-publication review, you may unearth many little literary gems with which to enhance your work and the reading pleasure of your audience. So - I would opine - you really ought to take on the task of doing the re-write phase with positive enthusiasm for what it might bring.
Stream of consciousness may be a fine method of creating that first draft: but it is extremely rare that it is a fine method of producing the finished work. If you get my drift...
Monday, June 23, 2014
V is for Viewpoint
When we write a spanking tale, we recount what happened by telling the scene as one of the participants, or as a "seeing eye" who describes what is going on without actually being there. The technical term is POV (Point of View) but you know me well enough by now that we can use the less formal term "View Point"
Selecting the view point is important. Your aim is to tell the reader what is going on, and each viewpoint has its advantages and disadvantages. Particularly if we want to say "why" the action is unfolding in the way that it is.
The "standard" view point is in the third person past tense, but sometimes authors try the present tense for effect, and on a couple of occasions I have seen the future tense being used: very out of the ordinary, so use the future tense with care, and only for fairly short pieces.
Take the simple, standard, third person past tense, as in the statement "He picked up the whip and faced her." We might have to go a long way to show our reader the inevitability of the picking up that whip, and the emotions that the action unleashed on the victim.
We can get around one part of the problem by going to first person. "It was incumbent upon me to show this wretched wench the price of sin - and I had the arm, wit and resolve to show her just how high a price, I picked up the whip and faced her." Well, we are finding it plain sailing to explain his motives - but now we are inside his shoes, telling the reader any emotion she is feeling is going to come across, at best, as inspired guesswork.
"He picked up the whip and faced me. Every nerve end in my body shrank at the horror he would unleash upon me, and, in particular, I became acutely aware how vulnerable my naked buttocks were." (OK, a bit purpley - but the aim is to show now that we are able to describe her emotions, telling what he his thinking has become inspired guesswork.)
We could switch viewpoints back and forth: if not overdone, that can be very effective. Just use clear sign posts to let the reader that we have changed point of view. The free short story in the Free Story section called "Abuse of Power" uses this technique with remarkable success (advt.)
For every day workmanlike work (or workpersonlike if gender is an issue), third person past tense works just fine. We have an arsenal of techniques to show what a person is thinking - we just have to deploy them in a workpersonlike manner.
I don't know about you, but I find second person narratives awkward to read "You picked up the whip and faced her" Or event "He picked up the whip and faced you." I think this is supposed to make the reader more committed to the narrative but - possibly because of its rarity - it tends to isolate me from the action. However, what I personally think about your narrative is the least of your problems - if this technique works for you and your readers, you go for it. Variety being the spice of life and all that.
The other viewpoint I personally have great difficulty is when the narrative is is a future tense. "You will pick up the whip and face me. I will become aware just how vulnerable my naked buttocks are." But again, if it works for you, then that is all that matters.
The point I am trying to make is that the choice of viewpoint will change how your reader reacts to your tale, and your decision as to which one to use may have a profound effect on how the tale unfolds. One day soon, when this A to Z challenge is over, I shall lead you into a case study of just how different a tale might unfold. ("Oh no." I hear you all cry - "You're not going to carry on after the A to Z.are you?" "You betcha," I reply with words full of terrible portent...
Selecting the view point is important. Your aim is to tell the reader what is going on, and each viewpoint has its advantages and disadvantages. Particularly if we want to say "why" the action is unfolding in the way that it is.
The "standard" view point is in the third person past tense, but sometimes authors try the present tense for effect, and on a couple of occasions I have seen the future tense being used: very out of the ordinary, so use the future tense with care, and only for fairly short pieces.
Take the simple, standard, third person past tense, as in the statement "He picked up the whip and faced her." We might have to go a long way to show our reader the inevitability of the picking up that whip, and the emotions that the action unleashed on the victim.
We can get around one part of the problem by going to first person. "It was incumbent upon me to show this wretched wench the price of sin - and I had the arm, wit and resolve to show her just how high a price, I picked up the whip and faced her." Well, we are finding it plain sailing to explain his motives - but now we are inside his shoes, telling the reader any emotion she is feeling is going to come across, at best, as inspired guesswork.
"He picked up the whip and faced me. Every nerve end in my body shrank at the horror he would unleash upon me, and, in particular, I became acutely aware how vulnerable my naked buttocks were." (OK, a bit purpley - but the aim is to show now that we are able to describe her emotions, telling what he his thinking has become inspired guesswork.)
We could switch viewpoints back and forth: if not overdone, that can be very effective. Just use clear sign posts to let the reader that we have changed point of view. The free short story in the Free Story section called "Abuse of Power" uses this technique with remarkable success (advt.)
For every day workmanlike work (or workpersonlike if gender is an issue), third person past tense works just fine. We have an arsenal of techniques to show what a person is thinking - we just have to deploy them in a workpersonlike manner.
I don't know about you, but I find second person narratives awkward to read "You picked up the whip and faced her" Or event "He picked up the whip and faced you." I think this is supposed to make the reader more committed to the narrative but - possibly because of its rarity - it tends to isolate me from the action. However, what I personally think about your narrative is the least of your problems - if this technique works for you and your readers, you go for it. Variety being the spice of life and all that.
The other viewpoint I personally have great difficulty is when the narrative is is a future tense. "You will pick up the whip and face me. I will become aware just how vulnerable my naked buttocks are." But again, if it works for you, then that is all that matters.
The point I am trying to make is that the choice of viewpoint will change how your reader reacts to your tale, and your decision as to which one to use may have a profound effect on how the tale unfolds. One day soon, when this A to Z challenge is over, I shall lead you into a case study of just how different a tale might unfold. ("Oh no." I hear you all cry - "You're not going to carry on after the A to Z.are you?" "You betcha," I reply with words full of terrible portent...
Friday, June 20, 2014
U is for Uniform
Naturally U just had to be for Uniform : there is an element of relished anticipation in the ritual that may precede a session of corporal punishment: and it goes with the turf that uniform wearers who get whacked will do so by following a very formal ritual before the first stroke lands. Whether it is a nervous schoolgirl having to touch her toes as an act of submission, or an airline steward accused of drinking alcohol in some mid-East nation: the relentless steps the victim goes through makes for a very satisfactory build up of tension.
A couple of years ago I picked up a real life interview in the UK press, and when I researched it, it turned out that it was very, very possible that the events really happened.
What events? Have a look at my free tale Over a Breach of Discipline. But be warned - it is quite severe and there is not a single element of erotica about it (advt.)
A couple of years ago I picked up a real life interview in the UK press, and when I researched it, it turned out that it was very, very possible that the events really happened.
What events? Have a look at my free tale Over a Breach of Discipline. But be warned - it is quite severe and there is not a single element of erotica about it (advt.)
T is for Teaching Moment
When spankings are safe, sane and consensual, they are tremendous fun. Even some non-spankos give a nod in our direction when they let themselves go.
But when they are not, they can be abusive, nasty and/or unpleasant. Even for the most ardent devotee of the profession.
One of my Second Life acquaintances told me of a real life experience when it turned out that her partner was a dyed in the wool sadist, and not only took her to the limits of her safe word, continued on long after reaching that line. Sadists don't seem to care about anything except the own personal gratification, so do take care your potential partner is not an out and out sadist - unless, of course, you wish to explore the darkest recesses of your partner's mind.
Now, I could give you a lecture on safe practices, but, as it happens, I once wrote a short story that spells it all out in a most excellent manner (advt.) So here is A Teaching Moment: a tale I hope that will amuse, erudite and perhaps even edify you.
But when they are not, they can be abusive, nasty and/or unpleasant. Even for the most ardent devotee of the profession.
One of my Second Life acquaintances told me of a real life experience when it turned out that her partner was a dyed in the wool sadist, and not only took her to the limits of her safe word, continued on long after reaching that line. Sadists don't seem to care about anything except the own personal gratification, so do take care your potential partner is not an out and out sadist - unless, of course, you wish to explore the darkest recesses of your partner's mind.
Now, I could give you a lecture on safe practices, but, as it happens, I once wrote a short story that spells it all out in a most excellent manner (advt.) So here is A Teaching Moment: a tale I hope that will amuse, erudite and perhaps even edify you.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
S is for Surprise Ending
As authors, we seem to delight in giving our readers an unexpected twists at the end of the tales we tell.
It probably starts with our early (non spanko) childhood efforts - where we pile on invention after invention to put our protagonist - often ourselves - into a wilder and wilder situation. I bet you, like me, resolved the impossibility we had created so used the twist in the tale in the manner of: "... and then I woke up." Gosh - we thought to ourselves - no one will spot that one coming.
But ask any English teacher of kids under the age of 13: they will tell you they see that at least once a semester if not once a week. It would seem we all do it, at least once, in our formative writing days.
This illustrates the nub of the problem - finding really new dramatic twists for short stories is getting almost impossibly hard in all genres. O. Henry alone is charged with using up about 50% of all realistic ironic endings. Fortunately, he was not into spanking faction
That does not help a great deal - for us authors of spanking fiction, the task of finding a novel ending is even harder. We are expected to turn out a tale that meets our reader's expectations that the set up for the spanking is realistic (no easy task), that the spanking will be realistically described (no easy task) and that the aftermath will be consistent with steps one and two. OK, if you have set up steps one and two in a workpersonlike manner, step three is relatively easy.
Step three is relatively easy until you decide it is to contain a twist in the tail. It doesn't have to - mind - if the aftermath is raw, unadorned slaking of lust, the need for a surprise ending has largely gone away. And often a simple acceptance of all that has gone before is quite OK. Not stunning, but very acceptable.
But if you do decide you want a surprise ending, I think you should take counsel that some surprise endings have been done so often that they now are virtually cliches. You might know the sort of thing: the school-girl is actually his adult wife. The assumed victim of the beating was really in charge the whole time. The unwilling victim finds the event has really been extremely rousing much to much mental confusion. If a beating for such a minor offense is warranted, just wait until the major offense is discovered. And so on.
There are new surprise endings waiting to be mined, and the mind games to unearth them are great fun.
But if you are new to writing spanking fiction, I would suggest you go and read a vast amount of spanking short stories by other authors - as due diligence to understand what the reading audience expects, and to make sure your "new" really astonishing twist hasn't been used so many times it causes a yawn rather than a shocked smile of congratulation.
When you do succeed in your quest for a new twist in the tail, I promise you your reading public will sure let you know.
It probably starts with our early (non spanko) childhood efforts - where we pile on invention after invention to put our protagonist - often ourselves - into a wilder and wilder situation. I bet you, like me, resolved the impossibility we had created so used the twist in the tale in the manner of: "... and then I woke up." Gosh - we thought to ourselves - no one will spot that one coming.
But ask any English teacher of kids under the age of 13: they will tell you they see that at least once a semester if not once a week. It would seem we all do it, at least once, in our formative writing days.
This illustrates the nub of the problem - finding really new dramatic twists for short stories is getting almost impossibly hard in all genres. O. Henry alone is charged with using up about 50% of all realistic ironic endings. Fortunately, he was not into spanking faction
That does not help a great deal - for us authors of spanking fiction, the task of finding a novel ending is even harder. We are expected to turn out a tale that meets our reader's expectations that the set up for the spanking is realistic (no easy task), that the spanking will be realistically described (no easy task) and that the aftermath will be consistent with steps one and two. OK, if you have set up steps one and two in a workpersonlike manner, step three is relatively easy.
Step three is relatively easy until you decide it is to contain a twist in the tail. It doesn't have to - mind - if the aftermath is raw, unadorned slaking of lust, the need for a surprise ending has largely gone away. And often a simple acceptance of all that has gone before is quite OK. Not stunning, but very acceptable.
But if you do decide you want a surprise ending, I think you should take counsel that some surprise endings have been done so often that they now are virtually cliches. You might know the sort of thing: the school-girl is actually his adult wife. The assumed victim of the beating was really in charge the whole time. The unwilling victim finds the event has really been extremely rousing much to much mental confusion. If a beating for such a minor offense is warranted, just wait until the major offense is discovered. And so on.
There are new surprise endings waiting to be mined, and the mind games to unearth them are great fun.
But if you are new to writing spanking fiction, I would suggest you go and read a vast amount of spanking short stories by other authors - as due diligence to understand what the reading audience expects, and to make sure your "new" really astonishing twist hasn't been used so many times it causes a yawn rather than a shocked smile of congratulation.
When you do succeed in your quest for a new twist in the tail, I promise you your reading public will sure let you know.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
R is for Robo-spanker
Outside of the sci-fi world of eroticobots, a la "The Gleam in Her Eye", there really are mechanical devices designed to impart a series of blows to a penitent's bottom.
The grand-daddy is actually called "The Robo Spanker". If you want to investigate the machine, don't use Googol to find their web site- Googol is about the most anti-spanking search engine out there. (In fact, let's all boycott Google totally - that will teach them to be so anti-spanking).
The Robo spanker is a simple back and forth whacker - making the paddle its best implement - for unless the victim changes body position, all strokes will land pretty much on the same spot.
The video producers at Pain-4-Fem came up with their own contraption, that uses a rotating arm to deliver a cane or whip stroke. To overcome the possibility of all strokes landing on the same sport, with much whirring, the delivery arm rises and lowers different amounts between consecutive strokes. Even if you have not watched any of their videos, you might have come across a picture or two of their models on the photo-blogs. The precision of the closely packed parallel stripes is the hallmark of a bottom striped with such mechanical efficiency.
The Instamatic II is the latest addition to the market of automated spankers. It is controlled by a pc program, and absent partners could, conceivably, deliver precise punishments from long distances by simply changing the programs variables. A whole new variation on "the long arm of the law", if you will.
For my tale "The Punishment Program" I combined the Instamatic II programming with the whirring noises of the Pain-4-Fem device.
I suspect the inventors of such devices might have a bigger market than one would first think. Since 20% of those with our taste have never told another person about their liking, it suggests that there are several million potential buyers in the USA alone.
If we had some way of being more open about our foible, that would surely open up the number of consensual spankings while making substantial dents in the profits of the mechanical device manufacturers.
The grand-daddy is actually called "The Robo Spanker". If you want to investigate the machine, don't use Googol to find their web site- Googol is about the most anti-spanking search engine out there. (In fact, let's all boycott Google totally - that will teach them to be so anti-spanking).
The Robo spanker is a simple back and forth whacker - making the paddle its best implement - for unless the victim changes body position, all strokes will land pretty much on the same spot.
The video producers at Pain-4-Fem came up with their own contraption, that uses a rotating arm to deliver a cane or whip stroke. To overcome the possibility of all strokes landing on the same sport, with much whirring, the delivery arm rises and lowers different amounts between consecutive strokes. Even if you have not watched any of their videos, you might have come across a picture or two of their models on the photo-blogs. The precision of the closely packed parallel stripes is the hallmark of a bottom striped with such mechanical efficiency.
The Instamatic II is the latest addition to the market of automated spankers. It is controlled by a pc program, and absent partners could, conceivably, deliver precise punishments from long distances by simply changing the programs variables. A whole new variation on "the long arm of the law", if you will.
For my tale "The Punishment Program" I combined the Instamatic II programming with the whirring noises of the Pain-4-Fem device.
I suspect the inventors of such devices might have a bigger market than one would first think. Since 20% of those with our taste have never told another person about their liking, it suggests that there are several million potential buyers in the USA alone.
If we had some way of being more open about our foible, that would surely open up the number of consensual spankings while making substantial dents in the profits of the mechanical device manufacturers.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Q is for Question
Spankos are very secretive about their fondness for spankings. Some of us have never told anyone, not a single soul, about our liking - ever. And I am talking big numbers: 20% or more are that reticent.
When asked, Spankos keep it to themselves for they say in surveys that they think that those without our taste will look on us as perverts in need of medical treatment and that we are a danger to children
So, part of the LSF spanking survey allowed "vanilla" participants to answer a very short survey designed to answer the question "What do you really think of us?" The number of respondents to the survey who stated that they are of a vanilla persuasion is not large enough to be totally reliable. But since every single one answered some questions in an identical manner, we should look at them as setting some sort of trend.
Here are the questions, and responses, set to the vanilla community who took part:
So - while they might not understand us, every single one disagreed with the statement that we are perverts, that we need treatment and that we are a danger to children. And I personally take great comfort in that.
However, the number of respondents is quite small. If you can assist in getting the vanilla community to weigh in on the topic, you could always use this link. It is the same one that contains the spanking survey, but an early question splits the respondents to their own sections.
When asked, Spankos keep it to themselves for they say in surveys that they think that those without our taste will look on us as perverts in need of medical treatment and that we are a danger to children
So, part of the LSF spanking survey allowed "vanilla" participants to answer a very short survey designed to answer the question "What do you really think of us?" The number of respondents to the survey who stated that they are of a vanilla persuasion is not large enough to be totally reliable. But since every single one answered some questions in an identical manner, we should look at them as setting some sort of trend.
Here are the questions, and responses, set to the vanilla community who took part:
Are you male or female? Male 40.00% Female 53.33% Prefer not to say 6.67% How old are you? Under 30 26.67% Between 30 and 40 13.33% Between 40 and 50 33.33% Over 50 26.67% Were you spanked as a child? Never 13.33% Rarely 53.33% Often 20.00% Very often 13.33% If you had to make a guess, how many times do think Spankos got spanked when they were kids? Never 0.00% Rarely 35.71% Often 50.00% Very often 14.29% Again, if you had to make a guess, at what age do you think most Spankos first get fascinated by spankings? Before Puberty 20.00% At Puberty 26.67% Between puberty and 20 26.67% Between 20 - 40 6.67% Over the age of 40 0.00% No idea at all 20.00% In general, which of the following statements apply to spankos? I cannot understand them 7.14% They are very nice people 28.57% They are perverts 0.00% They need medical or psychiatric treatment 0.00% They are harmless 14.29% They are a danger to children 0.00% They are like everyone else 78.57% They are fun people 7.14% If it is consensual between adults, that's OK 57.14%
So - while they might not understand us, every single one disagreed with the statement that we are perverts, that we need treatment and that we are a danger to children. And I personally take great comfort in that.
However, the number of respondents is quite small. If you can assist in getting the vanilla community to weigh in on the topic, you could always use this link. It is the same one that contains the spanking survey, but an early question splits the respondents to their own sections.
P is for Pilmsoll
A plimsoll is a sort of old fashioned Gym shoe - with a flat, rubber sole.
Gosh, that is very interesting, Dave - but so what? I hear you ask.
According to some surveys, the plimsoll and its more modern cousin, the carpet slipper, are weapons of choice when it comes to whaling a partner's backside. It is a hangover from post-WW2 Britain, when the plimsoll was the main weapon of rank and file school teachers. The cane tended to be for more serious offenses, and in some schools restricted to the Headmaster/mistress and his/her deputy. So your class master, to keep order and decorum, would often rely on a plimsoll to aid in keeping order.
The thing about the plimsoll is that when used as a simple spanking implement - straight back and to like a hand or even a paddle - it is extremely mild indeed. It takes a great deal of effort to infuse a deeper shade of pink using one in this manner.
But in the hands of a master - or a mistress even - it can deliver a sting of exquisite sharpness and an instant band of deep red. It is all in the manner of delivery.
The expert does not swing backwards and forwards like a paddle. The delivery is a sweeping swipe, from right to left, across the buttocks so that the flat rubber has an effect similar to "Chinese Burn". And strokes delivered in this manner are extremely painful: jumping up and down from foot to foot while blinking back tears of disbelief from the impact of a single whack - that sort of extremely painful.
So - should you come across an old fashioned plimsoll, and add it to your collection - do take care how you actually use it. If your partner is expecting a set of playful pats and gets a blistered backside instead, you might have a lot of explaining to do.
For Safe, Sane and Consensual are our watchwords. A plimsoll might very unexpectedly find you on the wrong side of that dividing line.
Gosh, that is very interesting, Dave - but so what? I hear you ask.
According to some surveys, the plimsoll and its more modern cousin, the carpet slipper, are weapons of choice when it comes to whaling a partner's backside. It is a hangover from post-WW2 Britain, when the plimsoll was the main weapon of rank and file school teachers. The cane tended to be for more serious offenses, and in some schools restricted to the Headmaster/mistress and his/her deputy. So your class master, to keep order and decorum, would often rely on a plimsoll to aid in keeping order.
The thing about the plimsoll is that when used as a simple spanking implement - straight back and to like a hand or even a paddle - it is extremely mild indeed. It takes a great deal of effort to infuse a deeper shade of pink using one in this manner.
But in the hands of a master - or a mistress even - it can deliver a sting of exquisite sharpness and an instant band of deep red. It is all in the manner of delivery.
The expert does not swing backwards and forwards like a paddle. The delivery is a sweeping swipe, from right to left, across the buttocks so that the flat rubber has an effect similar to "Chinese Burn". And strokes delivered in this manner are extremely painful: jumping up and down from foot to foot while blinking back tears of disbelief from the impact of a single whack - that sort of extremely painful.
So - should you come across an old fashioned plimsoll, and add it to your collection - do take care how you actually use it. If your partner is expecting a set of playful pats and gets a blistered backside instead, you might have a lot of explaining to do.
For Safe, Sane and Consensual are our watchwords. A plimsoll might very unexpectedly find you on the wrong side of that dividing line.
Monday, June 16, 2014
O is for Over The Knee
I haven't looked, but I would not be surprised if the majority of my fellow A-Z bloggers chose Over The Knee for their letter O.
Over the knee spankings have a special niche in our style of life. I suspect that it is the most popular real life spanking method: the intimacy of close body contact, the stimulation of bare hand on bare bottom and the sheer unscripted spontaneity of it all makes for a delightful experience. And a rather special form of foreplay.
But as spanking authors, such instant fun makes it a method of spanking that seldom turns up in our works of fiction. Those bloggers who recount their real life spanking adventures often relate over the knee sessions with their partners: but those who specialize in spanking fiction tend to shy away from it.
This possibly because spanking erotica lends itself best to the ritual and the sting that comes from some dreaded implement, not from a quick romp around the bed covers.
A real life OTK can last for ages and ages: gentle slaps that arouse a pinkness slowly and bringing a deep personal satisfaction: trying to capture such a session in print would involve much repetition. The real life experience does not lend itself to prose, for constant repetition - on the page - is more likely to bore than to titillate.
With an over the knee spanking, there is no lengthy anticipation, no formal submission to accept the coming ordeal, no bondage, no whips, no chains. Props that make fiction more intense, even if rarely - if never - part of one's actual bedroom activity.
So we have what must be the spanko author's greatest enigma: the most enjoyable real life spankings are the very worst for including in spanking fiction.
Which really is very curious, don't you think?
Over the knee spankings have a special niche in our style of life. I suspect that it is the most popular real life spanking method: the intimacy of close body contact, the stimulation of bare hand on bare bottom and the sheer unscripted spontaneity of it all makes for a delightful experience. And a rather special form of foreplay.
But as spanking authors, such instant fun makes it a method of spanking that seldom turns up in our works of fiction. Those bloggers who recount their real life spanking adventures often relate over the knee sessions with their partners: but those who specialize in spanking fiction tend to shy away from it.
This possibly because spanking erotica lends itself best to the ritual and the sting that comes from some dreaded implement, not from a quick romp around the bed covers.
A real life OTK can last for ages and ages: gentle slaps that arouse a pinkness slowly and bringing a deep personal satisfaction: trying to capture such a session in print would involve much repetition. The real life experience does not lend itself to prose, for constant repetition - on the page - is more likely to bore than to titillate.
With an over the knee spanking, there is no lengthy anticipation, no formal submission to accept the coming ordeal, no bondage, no whips, no chains. Props that make fiction more intense, even if rarely - if never - part of one's actual bedroom activity.
So we have what must be the spanko author's greatest enigma: the most enjoyable real life spankings are the very worst for including in spanking fiction.
Which really is very curious, don't you think?
Sunday, June 15, 2014
N is for Narrative
Writing conversations can be tricky - and their are a number of points of style and usage you should keep in mind.
The first is getting the text to read like the spoken word sounds. "I have not." might look OK, but "I haven't" sounds better. Routinely search your text to turn 'I will' into 'I'll' and so on. 'Can't' might not be a proper word in the purist's lexicon, but in narrative it is far superior to 'cannot'.
Secondly, beware of using dialogue to tell the reader what the protagonists already know. I shall make up a bad example so you know what to avoid: "Hello Samantha, my wife of 25 stormy years. Are you still doubting the wisdom of taking that management position when other better qualified candidates now have to report to you?" OK - a bit over the top, but we all fall into the trap of getting people to tell each other things they both know to fill the reader in on what it is going on. It often works well - just make sure it works well when you actually use the technique.
The way we write dialogue has changed over the years. Again, I'll make up a piece in the style that was in vogue in the 1930's and 40's:
The above exchange could, nowadays, be written as:
I don't offer the second version as a masterpiece of literaly style: it is just a case study to show the differences between the old way and the new.
However, sometimes you simply have to have a "he said" or similar, just to remind the reader where we are in the to and fro of an exchange of ideas when it is not blindingly obvious who is saying what. And when we have a three-way, or more, dialogue, we are simply forced to identify each speaker in turn. But evern then do try to avoid the adjectives if you can, If you want to be in the modern style, that is. And even the modern fashion will change over time: another good reason for reading the works of other authors.
Do take very good care if you write historical pieces of a serious nature. I once had a Cromwellian soldier say "I don't know". You would not believe how many contacted me to say that one of
Cromwell's troops could not have possibly said that. "I know not" was the syntax of the day and "I don't know" did not evolve until a century or more later. If you want your dialog to ring true to all readers, you need do your homework first. There is a huge army of linguist purists out there.
Finally, the best advice I can give is read your dialogue aloud - yes, really - read it aloud (but out of the earshot of others). You will quickly spot verbalizations thatt do not right ture. And that is about 95% of the battle.
The first is getting the text to read like the spoken word sounds. "I have not." might look OK, but "I haven't" sounds better. Routinely search your text to turn 'I will' into 'I'll' and so on. 'Can't' might not be a proper word in the purist's lexicon, but in narrative it is far superior to 'cannot'.
Secondly, beware of using dialogue to tell the reader what the protagonists already know. I shall make up a bad example so you know what to avoid: "Hello Samantha, my wife of 25 stormy years. Are you still doubting the wisdom of taking that management position when other better qualified candidates now have to report to you?" OK - a bit over the top, but we all fall into the trap of getting people to tell each other things they both know to fill the reader in on what it is going on. It often works well - just make sure it works well when you actually use the technique.
The way we write dialogue has changed over the years. Again, I'll make up a piece in the style that was in vogue in the 1930's and 40's:
"Are you angry with me?" Samantha asked nervously.
"I am absolutely furious with you!" David snarled contemptuously.
"Oh. You are not going to beat me?" she whispered piously.
"I shall cut you to shreds!" he roared angrily.The new style is to cut out all words that could be synonyms with "said" and to cut out all those -ly style adjectives. And, if it helps move the plot forwards, to give some descriptive text so that the reader can work out the emotion for himself or herself.
The above exchange could, nowadays, be written as:
"Are you angry with me?" Samantha pressed herself against the chair back in front of her, and tried to keep the tremor in her leg in check.
"I'm absolutely furious with you!" David tore the offending letter in half, smashed it into a tightly packed ball and flung it into the fireplace.
"Oh. You're not going to beat me ,,," Words said in a hushed whisper, so quiet he was not supposed to hear them.
.He stood up, strode across to the mantel and picked up the riding crop. He turned and faced her. "Beat you? I'm going cut your hide to shreds for this."
I don't offer the second version as a masterpiece of literaly style: it is just a case study to show the differences between the old way and the new.
However, sometimes you simply have to have a "he said" or similar, just to remind the reader where we are in the to and fro of an exchange of ideas when it is not blindingly obvious who is saying what. And when we have a three-way, or more, dialogue, we are simply forced to identify each speaker in turn. But evern then do try to avoid the adjectives if you can, If you want to be in the modern style, that is. And even the modern fashion will change over time: another good reason for reading the works of other authors.
Do take very good care if you write historical pieces of a serious nature. I once had a Cromwellian soldier say "I don't know". You would not believe how many contacted me to say that one of
Cromwell's troops could not have possibly said that. "I know not" was the syntax of the day and "I don't know" did not evolve until a century or more later. If you want your dialog to ring true to all readers, you need do your homework first. There is a huge army of linguist purists out there.
Finally, the best advice I can give is read your dialogue aloud - yes, really - read it aloud (but out of the earshot of others). You will quickly spot verbalizations thatt do not right ture. And that is about 95% of the battle.
.
Friday, June 13, 2014
M is for McLintock
The film McLintock bought to the big screen a truly authentic spanking scene (and one faked one as well).
When John Wayne's character (George Washington McLintock) whaled Maureen O'Hara's rump with a small flat shovel, he really did spank her. Maureen reported that it could not have been any other way, and that her butt was "black and blue" for more than two weeks after. Well, it was a Western with "Taming of the Shrew" overtones - Maureen's character was even named Kate.
And when Maggie Gyllenhaal got spanked in Secretary, she also agreed to take a real walloping rather than fake it. What she had not allowed for was that by the time the shoot was over, the scene had been shot 15 times (from various angles) and she found that her rump got steadfastly more sore as the day wore on.
Jenny Maxwell always said that her spanking at the hands of Elvis Presley - In blue Hawaii - really hurt : her dress was wet from just leaving the sea which made the slaps sting more - but her co-star was extremely reticent on how much effort he had put into it.
Over at the other extreme of on-screen spankings, Keira Knightly reportedly had to have a couple of ounces of booze just to be able to have a camera record someone pretending to belt her bottom. It would not have been possible for her to stand the emotional nightmare of pretending to like be spanked without the prop of alcohol to lessen the trauma. (Do I detect a hint of "the lady dost protest too much" in her publicity?)
But, the truth be known, Keira's position is more common in film land than we spankos like to pretend is the case. Helena did not actually feel a single swat, despite her pretty tears and yelps in Lady Jane. Holy Aird did not get caned or beaten with a sjambok in Happy Valley - despite being cast in other movies that had her on the wrong end of a thrashing or two.
Indeed, a number of directors faced with spanking action in a script take the easy way out, and have it off-screen (but within ear shot) so they can be true to the script without having to risk any real bruising taking place. The belting Brook Shields was scripted to get in Pretty Baby was as savage as anything ever portrayed: the strap tore the seat out her night dress. Having the deed done in a closed door shed, and allowing her to defiantly cry "It didn't hurt at all!" after it was all over, softened everything down and avoided a long drawn out battle with the censors.
I personally thing main stream movies would improve markedly if spanko script writers were allowed to add more plausible dialogue, and genuine spanko actresses found to fill the more important roles.
I still cannot get over that we saw a double in Nymphomaniac, and that it was not really Charlotte Gainsborough's bottom that was getting thoroughly slapped with a riding crop. We really need to take action if we are going to put an end to all this Tommy-rot. And I am reasonably certain that the Duke would be on our side. Let's see if McLintock can still ride the range.
When John Wayne's character (George Washington McLintock) whaled Maureen O'Hara's rump with a small flat shovel, he really did spank her. Maureen reported that it could not have been any other way, and that her butt was "black and blue" for more than two weeks after. Well, it was a Western with "Taming of the Shrew" overtones - Maureen's character was even named Kate.
And when Maggie Gyllenhaal got spanked in Secretary, she also agreed to take a real walloping rather than fake it. What she had not allowed for was that by the time the shoot was over, the scene had been shot 15 times (from various angles) and she found that her rump got steadfastly more sore as the day wore on.
Jenny Maxwell always said that her spanking at the hands of Elvis Presley - In blue Hawaii - really hurt : her dress was wet from just leaving the sea which made the slaps sting more - but her co-star was extremely reticent on how much effort he had put into it.
Over at the other extreme of on-screen spankings, Keira Knightly reportedly had to have a couple of ounces of booze just to be able to have a camera record someone pretending to belt her bottom. It would not have been possible for her to stand the emotional nightmare of pretending to like be spanked without the prop of alcohol to lessen the trauma. (Do I detect a hint of "the lady dost protest too much" in her publicity?)
But, the truth be known, Keira's position is more common in film land than we spankos like to pretend is the case. Helena did not actually feel a single swat, despite her pretty tears and yelps in Lady Jane. Holy Aird did not get caned or beaten with a sjambok in Happy Valley - despite being cast in other movies that had her on the wrong end of a thrashing or two.
Indeed, a number of directors faced with spanking action in a script take the easy way out, and have it off-screen (but within ear shot) so they can be true to the script without having to risk any real bruising taking place. The belting Brook Shields was scripted to get in Pretty Baby was as savage as anything ever portrayed: the strap tore the seat out her night dress. Having the deed done in a closed door shed, and allowing her to defiantly cry "It didn't hurt at all!" after it was all over, softened everything down and avoided a long drawn out battle with the censors.
I personally thing main stream movies would improve markedly if spanko script writers were allowed to add more plausible dialogue, and genuine spanko actresses found to fill the more important roles.
I still cannot get over that we saw a double in Nymphomaniac, and that it was not really Charlotte Gainsborough's bottom that was getting thoroughly slapped with a riding crop. We really need to take action if we are going to put an end to all this Tommy-rot. And I am reasonably certain that the Duke would be on our side. Let's see if McLintock can still ride the range.
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