The perceived wisdom of heterosexual marriage - at least in the UK when I was a lad - was that the husband should be slightly, but not excessively, older than the wife. Exceptions abounded all over the place, but were always seen as being exceptions to the rule. A wife "too young" was either indicative of a gold digger in action, or a dirty old man getting his wicked way, depending upon your point of view. A wife "too old" was usually indicative of a mommy's boy achieving his ideal partner.
And this seems to have spilled over into spanking fiction: the participants in an adult relationship that is SSC are expected to be of about the same age: and in the genre of erotic spanking, in their youthful prime. When the shorthand M/F is used, he may be excessively dominant and she excessively submissive, but woe betide you if you make it clear there is a huge age gap between them. Particularly if the action after the spanking turns into a sex romp.
The same sort of unwritten rule seems to apply to discipline, in real life as in spanking fiction. A male disciplinarian is expected to out-age a female penitent, by some degree, however small. M/F is back to our heterosexual marriage rule, M/f is dad whacking his teenage daughter and M/g is a teacher whacking a young schoolgirl. (Point worthy of note - any /g tale is fraught with potential difficulty and having a very young girl get spanked is more likely to get you hate mail than a growing band of followers) - of course, your mileage may vary.
When we have protagonists who are F/f and F/g the age gap is instantly obvious. F/F has some interesting age considerations in play, You might find that if the two ladies are of similar age, you have no need for narrative to explain their relationship and that the bigger the difference in age there is, the more detail you have to deal out. However, should your tale have some twenty year old young woman taking her hairbrush to a forty year old's bottom, you really will have to spend a lot of time showing how such an unlikely outcome came about. On the other hand, it does not need anywhere near as much work when a 40 year old teaches a lesson to someone in her acquaintance who is only 20 years old.
The scenarios of M/m, M/b, F/m and F/b clearly have no problems dealing with the inherent ageism we spankos seem to have. And when it comes to M/M and F/M, we are in area where I have no personal experience or observation to share with you. I suspect that the dominant party "ought" to be about the same age or slightly older than the submissive one, but really don't know for sure. But even as an outsider looking in, I think that if you write about a 20 year old young woman taking a cane to a 40 year old male, you will need a lot of set up to get the reader to be comfy with the situation.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
The hole truth
You need to be quite adult about this - we need to have a talk about some of the human orifices. They have an impact or your readers' sexual drive, and thereby could impact your writing. And it is not impossible you might get to understand yourself a little better.
There are over 60 types of sphincter, or anus, in the human body but only one that we can readily identify: to such an extant that the word anus has, for the vast majority of us, become to mean that one. The one that everyone has, but very few ever get around to talking about. The possession of an anus seems to be a bigger secret than having a spanking element to one's psyche. By far, the item most often stolen by shop lifters are hemorrhoid treatments - because being caught stealing is far less shameful than letting a store clerk of an embarrassing medical condition.
At the other extreme, some people get a great deal of innocent pleasure from wearing "butt-plugs" - a sort of dildo that is inserted into the anus and left there for a while.
Which makes the topic of anuses a tad tricky for us writers of spanking fiction. The slaps are being delivered in close proximity to an anus - in some forms of extreme BDSM to the actual anus itself - and as writers we can narrate about it or turn a blind eye to it. Which is more correct? It depends.
There are three words that are perfectly permissible in "polite" fiction: penis, vagina and anus. Provided that very few adjectives are added to any of those three nouns: too many adjectives and the line has been crossed taking our work outside that which is considered polite. And if you use any of the common crude terms instead of the scientific nomenclature, you have instantly become "impolite". Indeed, lots of adjectives with crude terms and you meet one of the more common definitions of pornography.
Writing pornography is perfectly OK - provided that you do not try to sell it to people having disguised and promoted it as polite fiction. That would be some sort of breach of trust in the unwritten contract between author and reader.
If your target audience is one that expects you stay within the confines of polite society, then mentioning the existence of the anus between the buttocks should only occur if, for some reason, it is germane to the story. And even then, only a passing reference. If you are writing to those who enjoy pornography, describing in meticulous detail the spankee's anus and what happens to it during the course of your tale is not only warranted, omitting it would - for some readers - be something of a let down. Your readers, your writing.
That is enough on this topic for today. It might interest you to know why the anus is part of the sex drive, and that is a topic I shall return to in the near future.
There are over 60 types of sphincter, or anus, in the human body but only one that we can readily identify: to such an extant that the word anus has, for the vast majority of us, become to mean that one. The one that everyone has, but very few ever get around to talking about. The possession of an anus seems to be a bigger secret than having a spanking element to one's psyche. By far, the item most often stolen by shop lifters are hemorrhoid treatments - because being caught stealing is far less shameful than letting a store clerk of an embarrassing medical condition.
At the other extreme, some people get a great deal of innocent pleasure from wearing "butt-plugs" - a sort of dildo that is inserted into the anus and left there for a while.
Which makes the topic of anuses a tad tricky for us writers of spanking fiction. The slaps are being delivered in close proximity to an anus - in some forms of extreme BDSM to the actual anus itself - and as writers we can narrate about it or turn a blind eye to it. Which is more correct? It depends.
There are three words that are perfectly permissible in "polite" fiction: penis, vagina and anus. Provided that very few adjectives are added to any of those three nouns: too many adjectives and the line has been crossed taking our work outside that which is considered polite. And if you use any of the common crude terms instead of the scientific nomenclature, you have instantly become "impolite". Indeed, lots of adjectives with crude terms and you meet one of the more common definitions of pornography.
Writing pornography is perfectly OK - provided that you do not try to sell it to people having disguised and promoted it as polite fiction. That would be some sort of breach of trust in the unwritten contract between author and reader.
If your target audience is one that expects you stay within the confines of polite society, then mentioning the existence of the anus between the buttocks should only occur if, for some reason, it is germane to the story. And even then, only a passing reference. If you are writing to those who enjoy pornography, describing in meticulous detail the spankee's anus and what happens to it during the course of your tale is not only warranted, omitting it would - for some readers - be something of a let down. Your readers, your writing.
That is enough on this topic for today. It might interest you to know why the anus is part of the sex drive, and that is a topic I shall return to in the near future.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Implement of Choice
Quite often, simply by selecting an implement with which to punish a bottom, an author leaves it at that. The protagonist delivers ten crisp cracks of a crop, and the reader is left to connect the dots. A double edged sword, for the reader may make the beating meet some unstated ideal, but the reader may end up with a bottom that looks nothing like the one you imagined at the time of writing.
This is because the same implement may have different effects depending upon how it is used.
There are two main spanking motions: back and forth in the manner of an oak paddle, or swished across the bottom as in the manner of a prison strap. The outcome will be quite different.
A birch rod used as a paddle is fairly tame - and the sorest part of the victim's body is more likely to be the right hip rather than the bottom itself (the tips of the birch can curl around the butt, and it is where the tips land that cause the greatest pain). A birch rod used with a whipping motion is a different matter altogether - this is the Victorian way, and it is designed to draw blood quickly and efficiently. Six of the best of a birch used in a spanking motion might produce a yelp - six with a whipping motion is almost guaranteed to produce screams of pain.
And so it goes on. A plimsoll (a British gym shoe with a flat rubber sole) used with a spanking motion caused a schoolkid to return to their desk with a sullen frown. Used with swish would have the same schoolkid hopping up and down in a very lively manner, before returning to their desk with eyes brimming with tears.
Some implements - of the whip family, such as quirt, sjambok or buggy whip - are clearly meant to be used with a whipping motion. And when so used, were constructed in such a way that the blows were likely to break the skin. As authors, we might not want our characters to end up with bloody bottoms, but if we do not spell it out clearly, our readers may read the scene and conclude that a blood fest is what we intended.
Some implements - of the stiff paddle family - can virtually only be used with a back and forth spanking motion. Dependent upon size, weight, and strength of arm, the most likely outcome is a pair of severely bruised buttocks. If extensive bruising is not your intent - and more important, not an effect your readers relish - when you decide a paddle is going to be the choice of implement, you need to take time to make it clear that the size, weight and/or strength of arm is such that the bottom will tingle a healthy deep pink, and not turn black.
And then we have those that can be used either way. A garden cane used with a spanking motion is going to sting like merry hell - but one used with a whipping motion will raise welts of a much more serious nature.
So, unless we do not care what our reader thinks has happened to the bottom under duress, it behooves us to give enough clues that the picture in the reader's mind is the one that we wish to draw.
This is because the same implement may have different effects depending upon how it is used.
There are two main spanking motions: back and forth in the manner of an oak paddle, or swished across the bottom as in the manner of a prison strap. The outcome will be quite different.
A birch rod used as a paddle is fairly tame - and the sorest part of the victim's body is more likely to be the right hip rather than the bottom itself (the tips of the birch can curl around the butt, and it is where the tips land that cause the greatest pain). A birch rod used with a whipping motion is a different matter altogether - this is the Victorian way, and it is designed to draw blood quickly and efficiently. Six of the best of a birch used in a spanking motion might produce a yelp - six with a whipping motion is almost guaranteed to produce screams of pain.
And so it goes on. A plimsoll (a British gym shoe with a flat rubber sole) used with a spanking motion caused a schoolkid to return to their desk with a sullen frown. Used with swish would have the same schoolkid hopping up and down in a very lively manner, before returning to their desk with eyes brimming with tears.
Some implements - of the whip family, such as quirt, sjambok or buggy whip - are clearly meant to be used with a whipping motion. And when so used, were constructed in such a way that the blows were likely to break the skin. As authors, we might not want our characters to end up with bloody bottoms, but if we do not spell it out clearly, our readers may read the scene and conclude that a blood fest is what we intended.
Some implements - of the stiff paddle family - can virtually only be used with a back and forth spanking motion. Dependent upon size, weight, and strength of arm, the most likely outcome is a pair of severely bruised buttocks. If extensive bruising is not your intent - and more important, not an effect your readers relish - when you decide a paddle is going to be the choice of implement, you need to take time to make it clear that the size, weight and/or strength of arm is such that the bottom will tingle a healthy deep pink, and not turn black.
And then we have those that can be used either way. A garden cane used with a spanking motion is going to sting like merry hell - but one used with a whipping motion will raise welts of a much more serious nature.
So, unless we do not care what our reader thinks has happened to the bottom under duress, it behooves us to give enough clues that the picture in the reader's mind is the one that we wish to draw.
Hold out your hand
We spankos prefer it when the bottom is the target of punitive action - it is what makes us what we are.
But not exclusively so - which raises an interesting question at what point does the infliction of pain to some part of the body lose any interest for us. Up front, I would say that tooth-ache has nothing of interest to the vast majority of us. And a migraine is largely of the agenda of pain sensations that set off our internal tingle.
But what about a young lady holding out her hand to have its palm strapped or - more rarely - given one or more stokes of the cane. Well, the sight is no stranger to most of us. Because the practice was so wide spread in post-war English school discipline, it does make an appearance in both literature and video. Is it erotic? Sometimes, I guess. A person holding out their hand for pain to be inflicted upon it is about as submissive an act as any one can imagine - right up there with touching one's toes for a similar fate to be inflicted upon a backside. Submission is definitely among our possible buttons, and getting the palm of one's hand caned or strapped was, in real life, as about non-consensual as it ever got. The actress is a willing victim, but when in such a posture of complete submission it is easy to pretend that she is not.
Blows across the shoulder and upper back turn up so often in videos of a more punitive nature, that the producers know they have tapped into a money making line. Before getting, say, 25 strokes of a quirt across her backside, the recipient first gets 25 across the back. It is not clear to me why a back whipping can intrigue, particular when a bottom one is going to follow, but it is common enough as to be standard fare.
On the other hand, blows inflicted elsewhere to the body simply do not interest me that much. Frontal whippings are not part of my personal foible, and inflicting pain on the private parts, for me, is quite a turn off.
So my works almost invariably lead to a female getting her bottom spanked. And there is very little deviation from that one outcome. For my readers, this is just fine - they want to read about ladies of varying ages getting enjoyable or unenjoyable bottom warmings, and they know that is where my tales are going to take them.
For you and your readers, you need to decide if you are going to stay mainstream, or fill a niche. And once you have so chosen, there are enough potential readers to keep you happy.
But not exclusively so - which raises an interesting question at what point does the infliction of pain to some part of the body lose any interest for us. Up front, I would say that tooth-ache has nothing of interest to the vast majority of us. And a migraine is largely of the agenda of pain sensations that set off our internal tingle.
But what about a young lady holding out her hand to have its palm strapped or - more rarely - given one or more stokes of the cane. Well, the sight is no stranger to most of us. Because the practice was so wide spread in post-war English school discipline, it does make an appearance in both literature and video. Is it erotic? Sometimes, I guess. A person holding out their hand for pain to be inflicted upon it is about as submissive an act as any one can imagine - right up there with touching one's toes for a similar fate to be inflicted upon a backside. Submission is definitely among our possible buttons, and getting the palm of one's hand caned or strapped was, in real life, as about non-consensual as it ever got. The actress is a willing victim, but when in such a posture of complete submission it is easy to pretend that she is not.
Blows across the shoulder and upper back turn up so often in videos of a more punitive nature, that the producers know they have tapped into a money making line. Before getting, say, 25 strokes of a quirt across her backside, the recipient first gets 25 across the back. It is not clear to me why a back whipping can intrigue, particular when a bottom one is going to follow, but it is common enough as to be standard fare.
On the other hand, blows inflicted elsewhere to the body simply do not interest me that much. Frontal whippings are not part of my personal foible, and inflicting pain on the private parts, for me, is quite a turn off.
So my works almost invariably lead to a female getting her bottom spanked. And there is very little deviation from that one outcome. For my readers, this is just fine - they want to read about ladies of varying ages getting enjoyable or unenjoyable bottom warmings, and they know that is where my tales are going to take them.
For you and your readers, you need to decide if you are going to stay mainstream, or fill a niche. And once you have so chosen, there are enough potential readers to keep you happy.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Hello, my little spanko...
As you are acutely aware, even though the internet has torn down the curtain to reveal that million upon million of us (up to 20% of all adults according to some) enjoy some aspects of the spanking scene, we are extremely shy about telling others that we have our foible.
Which makes meeting up with like minds a little difficult.
Suppose, for the sake of illustration, you were a man seeking a female companion - you could not possibly start strike-up conversations with the line "Hello little girl, you look as if you have been naughty. Does your naughty bottom deserve a spank or two?" Well, I suppose it is not impossible, but even if you happened to be chatting with a spanko, the chances are that you will have turned her right off getting involved with you.
If you think about it, exactly the same difficulty arises for vanillas trying to pick up other vanillas for some vanilla styled sex. An opening line of "Would you like to go to bed with me?" is one fraught with rejection of all manner of reasons.
Vanilla or spanko - we all have to dance some sort of dance first. Except vanillas do not have to introduce the topic of sex into the negotiation: that is somewhat something of a given when two start the tango that might lead to a bedtime romp.
We spankos do not have spanking as a given in the negotiations: there is a 50% chance our new colleague has no interest in spanking activity whatsoever, a 25% chance they can tolerate some as a sort of "slap and tickle" approach to foreplay, and 25% are hoping against hope that you share the same burning desire that they do. Bringing up spanking gives you a 50/50 shot of it being a turn off, and the same chance it might lead to a butt getting a whack or two. While those are not bad odds, the act of tossing the dice means that we have to show our interest, in outright breach of the secrecy we need according to paragraph one above.
So - what can we do. Well, first we can hang about on chat forums; that gives us anonymity while revealing our deepest secrets. But that is a less than stellar way of finding a real life partner to share some real life activity.
We could attend a "munch" - a meeting of spankos for entertainment and meet up purposes. But any recovery attempt to deny our spanko nature is doomed to failure. Another certain breach of secrecy.
We really are left with simply trying to broach the subject while in a one-to-one meeting, in such a way that both parties can do a recovery if the other is clearly not a spanko.
Arm yourself with suitable seques into any topic that makes no statement about what you are hoping to hear. Television becomes a topic? There have been masses of TV startles lately - you should be able to bring one to mind without it being on the lines of "Amy clearly loved getting spanked by Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory. How about you?" Your own childhood days? Aw come on - you have to be able to say something about how today's anti-spanking policy is affecting the public behavior of children. And that gives a good reason to ask your companion what sort of discipline they got when they were younger. Which might be an interesting topic in its own right.
If your partner makes some sort of mild gaffe, you have a chance to introduce the lame joke, with a very broad smile, "It seems that you were not beaten often enough or hard enough when you were younger - and it now shows." Not a rib tickler, and not brought in as such - the reaction to those words might tell you so much about your new potential partner that you will both know how the land lies.
In the manner of a cast member of "Astronaut Wives' Club" you might simply give a friendly swat to the rump of your acquaintance. An annoyed protest can be countered with "Sorry - I was just giving your bottom a friendly compliment for being so attractive." It allows you to recover from a hostile response, and move forward if the response was clearly not of a hostile nature.
Now - we would not be having this discussion if being a spanko was not seen as needing to be a carefully kept secret. Maybe we should all join in some sort of world wide coming out campaign. And the act of coming out might bring very pleasant surprises in its wake.
Which makes meeting up with like minds a little difficult.
Suppose, for the sake of illustration, you were a man seeking a female companion - you could not possibly start strike-up conversations with the line "Hello little girl, you look as if you have been naughty. Does your naughty bottom deserve a spank or two?" Well, I suppose it is not impossible, but even if you happened to be chatting with a spanko, the chances are that you will have turned her right off getting involved with you.
If you think about it, exactly the same difficulty arises for vanillas trying to pick up other vanillas for some vanilla styled sex. An opening line of "Would you like to go to bed with me?" is one fraught with rejection of all manner of reasons.
Vanilla or spanko - we all have to dance some sort of dance first. Except vanillas do not have to introduce the topic of sex into the negotiation: that is somewhat something of a given when two start the tango that might lead to a bedtime romp.
We spankos do not have spanking as a given in the negotiations: there is a 50% chance our new colleague has no interest in spanking activity whatsoever, a 25% chance they can tolerate some as a sort of "slap and tickle" approach to foreplay, and 25% are hoping against hope that you share the same burning desire that they do. Bringing up spanking gives you a 50/50 shot of it being a turn off, and the same chance it might lead to a butt getting a whack or two. While those are not bad odds, the act of tossing the dice means that we have to show our interest, in outright breach of the secrecy we need according to paragraph one above.
So - what can we do. Well, first we can hang about on chat forums; that gives us anonymity while revealing our deepest secrets. But that is a less than stellar way of finding a real life partner to share some real life activity.
We could attend a "munch" - a meeting of spankos for entertainment and meet up purposes. But any recovery attempt to deny our spanko nature is doomed to failure. Another certain breach of secrecy.
We really are left with simply trying to broach the subject while in a one-to-one meeting, in such a way that both parties can do a recovery if the other is clearly not a spanko.
Arm yourself with suitable seques into any topic that makes no statement about what you are hoping to hear. Television becomes a topic? There have been masses of TV startles lately - you should be able to bring one to mind without it being on the lines of "Amy clearly loved getting spanked by Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory. How about you?" Your own childhood days? Aw come on - you have to be able to say something about how today's anti-spanking policy is affecting the public behavior of children. And that gives a good reason to ask your companion what sort of discipline they got when they were younger. Which might be an interesting topic in its own right.
If your partner makes some sort of mild gaffe, you have a chance to introduce the lame joke, with a very broad smile, "It seems that you were not beaten often enough or hard enough when you were younger - and it now shows." Not a rib tickler, and not brought in as such - the reaction to those words might tell you so much about your new potential partner that you will both know how the land lies.
In the manner of a cast member of "Astronaut Wives' Club" you might simply give a friendly swat to the rump of your acquaintance. An annoyed protest can be countered with "Sorry - I was just giving your bottom a friendly compliment for being so attractive." It allows you to recover from a hostile response, and move forward if the response was clearly not of a hostile nature.
Now - we would not be having this discussion if being a spanko was not seen as needing to be a carefully kept secret. Maybe we should all join in some sort of world wide coming out campaign. And the act of coming out might bring very pleasant surprises in its wake.
Bound to succeed
Sometimes the person about to be spanked is first securely tied to the bench - or other item acting as a spanking bench - before the first stroke is administered.
In the real life world of historic non-consensual beatings, such an act was often part of the ritual: one example - before a bosun did everything he could to impart serious pain into a miscreant's backside, the victim would be secured across a cannon, so that escape was impossible and the entire ordeal would be completed in one session.
Partly for this reason, some domestic discipline scenarios have a similar ritual - the penitent is secured so that a full measure of discipline may be administered. But, I suspect, only partly.
Nowadays, I would hazard all adult to adult spankings are completely consensual: for those that are not lead to rapid appearances before some criminal court to be asked to explain just what one was thinking.
But sometimes the pretense that it is not consensual adds a peppery tingle to the session. So a second reason that a person may allow themselves to be secured by wrist and ankle to a frame is that, to some degree, the beating is out of control of the one on the receiving end. There is trust that the caning, paddling or whipping will stay within the bounds of being reasonable, but it is no longer possible to simply stand up and walk away if it is not.
But many of those with a liking for spanking also have the fellow foible of bondage. When a lady willingly touches her toes to be dealt with in an appropriate manner - that act of submission carries many level of overtone in it. And to demure to being securely fastened is one of the ultimate acts of submission.
So - when one adult secures another prior to a beating, there are many forces that have come into play: the submission, the non-consensual nature, and that it is not impossible that pain thresholds might be crossed. A heady mixture - so heady, I am among those who agree it is one that should only be shared by partners who have earned complete trust in each other.
It would be a disaster to find that your newest, most charming partner is actually an utter sadist once you have made it impossible for you stop any more pain being inflicted. Only the most dedicated masochist would enjoy such a session - and, to the surprise of vanillas - very few spankos who enjoy being on the receiving end meet the definition of having masochistic tendencies.
If your writing takes your characters into being tied up and spanked, it does not have to turn into a Mood Pictures pain fest. The delights, sensations and emotions of being secured and whacked can be explored in depth, without the victim having to endure some sort of torture session. Just a very intense one.
Even in our wildest fantasies, having one eye of it all being SSC is not a bad idea.
In the real life world of historic non-consensual beatings, such an act was often part of the ritual: one example - before a bosun did everything he could to impart serious pain into a miscreant's backside, the victim would be secured across a cannon, so that escape was impossible and the entire ordeal would be completed in one session.
Partly for this reason, some domestic discipline scenarios have a similar ritual - the penitent is secured so that a full measure of discipline may be administered. But, I suspect, only partly.
Nowadays, I would hazard all adult to adult spankings are completely consensual: for those that are not lead to rapid appearances before some criminal court to be asked to explain just what one was thinking.
But sometimes the pretense that it is not consensual adds a peppery tingle to the session. So a second reason that a person may allow themselves to be secured by wrist and ankle to a frame is that, to some degree, the beating is out of control of the one on the receiving end. There is trust that the caning, paddling or whipping will stay within the bounds of being reasonable, but it is no longer possible to simply stand up and walk away if it is not.
But many of those with a liking for spanking also have the fellow foible of bondage. When a lady willingly touches her toes to be dealt with in an appropriate manner - that act of submission carries many level of overtone in it. And to demure to being securely fastened is one of the ultimate acts of submission.
So - when one adult secures another prior to a beating, there are many forces that have come into play: the submission, the non-consensual nature, and that it is not impossible that pain thresholds might be crossed. A heady mixture - so heady, I am among those who agree it is one that should only be shared by partners who have earned complete trust in each other.
It would be a disaster to find that your newest, most charming partner is actually an utter sadist once you have made it impossible for you stop any more pain being inflicted. Only the most dedicated masochist would enjoy such a session - and, to the surprise of vanillas - very few spankos who enjoy being on the receiving end meet the definition of having masochistic tendencies.
If your writing takes your characters into being tied up and spanked, it does not have to turn into a Mood Pictures pain fest. The delights, sensations and emotions of being secured and whacked can be explored in depth, without the victim having to endure some sort of torture session. Just a very intense one.
Even in our wildest fantasies, having one eye of it all being SSC is not a bad idea.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
We all have a role to play
Vanillas often wonder why spankos sometimes go to - in their words - laughable lengths by taking part in elaborate role play, as part of their spanking activities. Two consenting adults - right? - so why not just let the whacking begin?
First, role play allows a ritual to be introduced into a session that adds to it something extra to simply grabbing a partner and whacking away indiscriminately. By way of example, if your ideal spanking includes scolding before and during, and corner time afterwards - unless into some very serious domestic discipline arrangement - both parties need to play some sort of role where such activity is expected, tolerated and, at some level, satisfy an internal need.
Second, it is very easy in role play to take on the pretense that the person getting the spanking does not wish to be spanked. We all want to think, at times, the person being spanked would prefer to be elsewhere other than on the receiving end of a good hiding, So, when husband and wife play the roles of schoolmaster and schoolgirl, it is not (necessarily) to pretend that the wife has returned to virginal purity, but that when she gets punished, she is a most unwilling victim.
Third, role play allows us to explore and revel in experiences out of our normal everyday routines, and even out of our own lifetimes. Imagining what it might have been like if in a prior life you had been a warder at Bridewell, and really had to deal with prisoners in a formal and brutal way when they broke prison regulations - well, unless you try it, by role playing, you will never know.
And finally - and possibly the most important reason - role play can set up a situation where there is gong to be a spanking purely for the spanking's sake, And nothing else. If a wife is playing the role of a school girl, for her teacher to indulge in sexual activity afterwards - as her teacher - would be beyond the bounds of the role play in an all usual circumstances. Other than in more racy erotica, any school teacher who had sex with a student would do so at extreme peril for their continued liberty - and if nothing else, that background nag would probably take all the enjoyment out of the affair,.
Four very valid reasons for role playing - but each one guaranteed to make the average vanilla shake their head is amused disbelief. Still, one of the sure fire ways to recruit a vanilla to our ranks is to get them to first take part in a role play session. But we shall leave that notion for a future post.
First, role play allows a ritual to be introduced into a session that adds to it something extra to simply grabbing a partner and whacking away indiscriminately. By way of example, if your ideal spanking includes scolding before and during, and corner time afterwards - unless into some very serious domestic discipline arrangement - both parties need to play some sort of role where such activity is expected, tolerated and, at some level, satisfy an internal need.
Second, it is very easy in role play to take on the pretense that the person getting the spanking does not wish to be spanked. We all want to think, at times, the person being spanked would prefer to be elsewhere other than on the receiving end of a good hiding, So, when husband and wife play the roles of schoolmaster and schoolgirl, it is not (necessarily) to pretend that the wife has returned to virginal purity, but that when she gets punished, she is a most unwilling victim.
Third, role play allows us to explore and revel in experiences out of our normal everyday routines, and even out of our own lifetimes. Imagining what it might have been like if in a prior life you had been a warder at Bridewell, and really had to deal with prisoners in a formal and brutal way when they broke prison regulations - well, unless you try it, by role playing, you will never know.
And finally - and possibly the most important reason - role play can set up a situation where there is gong to be a spanking purely for the spanking's sake, And nothing else. If a wife is playing the role of a school girl, for her teacher to indulge in sexual activity afterwards - as her teacher - would be beyond the bounds of the role play in an all usual circumstances. Other than in more racy erotica, any school teacher who had sex with a student would do so at extreme peril for their continued liberty - and if nothing else, that background nag would probably take all the enjoyment out of the affair,.
Four very valid reasons for role playing - but each one guaranteed to make the average vanilla shake their head is amused disbelief. Still, one of the sure fire ways to recruit a vanilla to our ranks is to get them to first take part in a role play session. But we shall leave that notion for a future post.
A question of gender
There is a shorthand convention to describe the participants in a spanking scene: F=Adult Female, f=Young Female, M=Adult Male and m=Young Male. Thus, a mother spanking her daughter can be shortened to F/f and the standard adult relationship is M/F.
You can play around with the letters to see if you get inspiration for some new angle you have not worked on before. For example, is it possible to write a realistic scenario for bb/FF? - or, if the idea turns you on, could you create some quite fantastical episode where two lads end up walloping the backsides of two mature ladies? M/Fffffff suggests a headmaster who is tasked with caning several schoolgirls and their teacher to boot. Highly improbable but not completely unworkable. And so on.
It was in this way that I found one of my one road blocks in writing spanking fiction. If find if I write a F/M scene, it comes out awkwardly unrealistic and M/M is just downright impossible for me. Not that I have anything against real world instances of M/M discipline, nor M/M as SSC conduct between consenting adults - it is just that I find no personal interest in writing about such events. And when I constructed a plot that made a F/M scene inevitable, I had to find a collaborating author to construct something that was realistic and entertaining.
But I am not alone in this outlook. Surveys suggest that a mere 2% of spankos want to read or view M/M spankings, and the number looking for such material is considerably smaller when the respondents are vanilla.
You need to take note that for entertainment purposes, the majority want to read about /F and /f spankings. If you are catering for a niche audience, you don't need to worry - but if not, you ought to keep in mind what the average spanko reader wants, if you are going to rely on repeat readers.
Most of the time, our readers want and expect the person being spanked to be a female. I am not a qualified psychologist, so can only surmise that the "normal" human mindset - that puts males into a more dominant and females into more submissive one - echoes a widespread belief of normal behavior, and therefore one that is more acceptable, in material meant to entertain us.
Try to imagine, for example, the final spanking scene in McLintock! with a role reversal - Maureen O'Hara now chases John Wayne all around town and eventually whacks him with a coal shovel, It would be very hard for that version to come across as light-hearted and as natural as the scene we actually got. I suppose it is all part of the human condition.
The F/F and F/f formats are more widely read, for it is a female bottom that gets whacked. M/M and M/m are less easily read, for the majority of us really do not empathize with any degree of relish the thought of a male bottom getting whacked. There are exceptions, but few and far between.
So if you should find that you are inspired to write a f/M, of a m/M tale that is not parody, but a serious attempt to entertain, do not be overly surprised if your readers do not praise you lavishly.
You can play around with the letters to see if you get inspiration for some new angle you have not worked on before. For example, is it possible to write a realistic scenario for bb/FF? - or, if the idea turns you on, could you create some quite fantastical episode where two lads end up walloping the backsides of two mature ladies? M/Fffffff suggests a headmaster who is tasked with caning several schoolgirls and their teacher to boot. Highly improbable but not completely unworkable. And so on.
It was in this way that I found one of my one road blocks in writing spanking fiction. If find if I write a F/M scene, it comes out awkwardly unrealistic and M/M is just downright impossible for me. Not that I have anything against real world instances of M/M discipline, nor M/M as SSC conduct between consenting adults - it is just that I find no personal interest in writing about such events. And when I constructed a plot that made a F/M scene inevitable, I had to find a collaborating author to construct something that was realistic and entertaining.
But I am not alone in this outlook. Surveys suggest that a mere 2% of spankos want to read or view M/M spankings, and the number looking for such material is considerably smaller when the respondents are vanilla.
You need to take note that for entertainment purposes, the majority want to read about /F and /f spankings. If you are catering for a niche audience, you don't need to worry - but if not, you ought to keep in mind what the average spanko reader wants, if you are going to rely on repeat readers.
Most of the time, our readers want and expect the person being spanked to be a female. I am not a qualified psychologist, so can only surmise that the "normal" human mindset - that puts males into a more dominant and females into more submissive one - echoes a widespread belief of normal behavior, and therefore one that is more acceptable, in material meant to entertain us.
Try to imagine, for example, the final spanking scene in McLintock! with a role reversal - Maureen O'Hara now chases John Wayne all around town and eventually whacks him with a coal shovel, It would be very hard for that version to come across as light-hearted and as natural as the scene we actually got. I suppose it is all part of the human condition.
The F/F and F/f formats are more widely read, for it is a female bottom that gets whacked. M/M and M/m are less easily read, for the majority of us really do not empathize with any degree of relish the thought of a male bottom getting whacked. There are exceptions, but few and far between.
So if you should find that you are inspired to write a f/M, of a m/M tale that is not parody, but a serious attempt to entertain, do not be overly surprised if your readers do not praise you lavishly.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
When did it start for you?
It is now seen that spankos divide into two distinct groups: those who got the first inkling of their interest before the age of 10, and those who acquired it during or after puberty.
I am in the process of constructing a new Spanking survey to try to highlight all the differences between the two groups (suggestions for interesting questions greatly appreciated) but for now, I would like to discuss one that seems to be pretty widespread - but definitely not universal.
We find that vanillas do not understand - indeed cannot understand - the idea of a spanking just for the spanking's sake itself. Particularly if no element of discipline is involved. She has a need to have her bottom slapped hard, engenders such an outcome and that is it. No erotic play of any kind, no sex - nothing. The spanking was the be all and end all of the incident.
In discussions with fellow spankos, there are some of us who also don't really understand a spanking for a spanking's sake. It is, in their world view, a prelude to sex or part of foreplay and for them even a discipline spanking is too far outside the SSC equation.
So far, all the spankos I have come across with this mindset are what we might call "late starters" - they acquired the taste at or after puberty.
And that makes a great deal of sense to me.
The 75% of us who started young, tended to find the idea of a spanking to be quite delightful, but the practice to be very unpleasant. It happens, but it is rare, that young spankos actually put themselves into trouble simply to get another spanking. It is the thought, not the deed, that intrigues. (There are a number of theories as to why the young body acts like this, but that is for another post).
After puberty, the 75% of us find that our existing spank drive often gets wrapped around our new sex drive. And actual spanking activity can take place without any sense of fear or loathing. A correspondent told me that for the longest time in early teen-hood, she thought the words spanking and masturbation were synonyms. We have two separate drives that often intertwine, but they are separate.
The 25% latecomers had a sex drive in place before the spanking one got built. Again there are a number of theories to explain how this comes about, but they all try to show the mechanics of adding a spanking drive TO a sex drive. Latecomers do not have two drives, the have one which has two distinct featues.
Thus, some of us have two drives and a spanking for a spanking's sake satisfies the one completely, and the rest have only one: and for them, usually, a spanking without sex just seems somewhat incomplete.
p.s. If you do have any thoughts on questions to try to reveal other differences, do drop me a line.
I am in the process of constructing a new Spanking survey to try to highlight all the differences between the two groups (suggestions for interesting questions greatly appreciated) but for now, I would like to discuss one that seems to be pretty widespread - but definitely not universal.
We find that vanillas do not understand - indeed cannot understand - the idea of a spanking just for the spanking's sake itself. Particularly if no element of discipline is involved. She has a need to have her bottom slapped hard, engenders such an outcome and that is it. No erotic play of any kind, no sex - nothing. The spanking was the be all and end all of the incident.
In discussions with fellow spankos, there are some of us who also don't really understand a spanking for a spanking's sake. It is, in their world view, a prelude to sex or part of foreplay and for them even a discipline spanking is too far outside the SSC equation.
So far, all the spankos I have come across with this mindset are what we might call "late starters" - they acquired the taste at or after puberty.
And that makes a great deal of sense to me.
The 75% of us who started young, tended to find the idea of a spanking to be quite delightful, but the practice to be very unpleasant. It happens, but it is rare, that young spankos actually put themselves into trouble simply to get another spanking. It is the thought, not the deed, that intrigues. (There are a number of theories as to why the young body acts like this, but that is for another post).
After puberty, the 75% of us find that our existing spank drive often gets wrapped around our new sex drive. And actual spanking activity can take place without any sense of fear or loathing. A correspondent told me that for the longest time in early teen-hood, she thought the words spanking and masturbation were synonyms. We have two separate drives that often intertwine, but they are separate.
The 25% latecomers had a sex drive in place before the spanking one got built. Again there are a number of theories to explain how this comes about, but they all try to show the mechanics of adding a spanking drive TO a sex drive. Latecomers do not have two drives, the have one which has two distinct featues.
Thus, some of us have two drives and a spanking for a spanking's sake satisfies the one completely, and the rest have only one: and for them, usually, a spanking without sex just seems somewhat incomplete.
p.s. If you do have any thoughts on questions to try to reveal other differences, do drop me a line.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Innocent bystanders
In times gone by, it was common for corporal punishment to be carried out in some public place, so that citizens could see justice being done, take heed that such an outcome could be in their own future if they strayed too far, and to make the ordeal more unpleasant for the sinner.
Indeed, at most school's in the UK when corporal punishment was still permitted, the ultimate sanction was to be caned in front of the whole school. The only crime that seemed to merit such a public setting was that of stealing, and about once a year we would be assembled in the main hall to watch someone caught shoplifting getting a public beating. And learned to refrain from helping ourselves to goods freely available to the light fingered when visiting department stores.
In the main, domestic spankings were private affairs, conducted behind closed bedroom doors. The yells and yelps of the wrongdoer alerted the siblings to how severe retribution could be, but, usually it was a private matter between parent and child. There were exceptions. Notably, Bridget Bardot was once spanked in front of her entire family for having caused a valuable antique vase to get broken, but she was an exception, not the norm of how things were done in the recent past.
Public spankings of an erotic nature are a different matter. The spanker and the spankee are there to enjoy themselves and part of the enjoyment is a group of aficionados looking on with the tingle that might come from the echo of someone else getting a sore bottom. I have never actually attended such a session, not as participant and not as onlooker so I can only surmise that you need to overcome a fair degree of embarrassment in order to fit in comfortably. Erotic spankings are usually meant to lead to more intimate activities, and I am reasonably certain that the more intimate activities were not part of the entertainment watched by the audience..
For us authors of spanking fiction, setting up the plot so that a spanking - whether consensual to some degree or not - leads to interesting possibilities in examining the emotions of all concerned. From that felt by an elder woman, grimly pleased to see a young hussy getting her just deserts, through to pleasure felt by some males when they watch a female bottom bouncing up and down, through to the humiliation burning at the wretched wretch getting thoroughly paddled.
There are so many possibilities for us to explore, I shall return to this topic again in the near future. In the meantime, do experiment with putting your spanking in a public place and see where that plot device leads you.
Indeed, at most school's in the UK when corporal punishment was still permitted, the ultimate sanction was to be caned in front of the whole school. The only crime that seemed to merit such a public setting was that of stealing, and about once a year we would be assembled in the main hall to watch someone caught shoplifting getting a public beating. And learned to refrain from helping ourselves to goods freely available to the light fingered when visiting department stores.
In the main, domestic spankings were private affairs, conducted behind closed bedroom doors. The yells and yelps of the wrongdoer alerted the siblings to how severe retribution could be, but, usually it was a private matter between parent and child. There were exceptions. Notably, Bridget Bardot was once spanked in front of her entire family for having caused a valuable antique vase to get broken, but she was an exception, not the norm of how things were done in the recent past.
Public spankings of an erotic nature are a different matter. The spanker and the spankee are there to enjoy themselves and part of the enjoyment is a group of aficionados looking on with the tingle that might come from the echo of someone else getting a sore bottom. I have never actually attended such a session, not as participant and not as onlooker so I can only surmise that you need to overcome a fair degree of embarrassment in order to fit in comfortably. Erotic spankings are usually meant to lead to more intimate activities, and I am reasonably certain that the more intimate activities were not part of the entertainment watched by the audience..
For us authors of spanking fiction, setting up the plot so that a spanking - whether consensual to some degree or not - leads to interesting possibilities in examining the emotions of all concerned. From that felt by an elder woman, grimly pleased to see a young hussy getting her just deserts, through to pleasure felt by some males when they watch a female bottom bouncing up and down, through to the humiliation burning at the wretched wretch getting thoroughly paddled.
There are so many possibilities for us to explore, I shall return to this topic again in the near future. In the meantime, do experiment with putting your spanking in a public place and see where that plot device leads you.
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