I suppose the biggest single difference between sado-masochists and spankos is that while the first have spankings as one of the ways pain may be inflicted, for spankos it is almost the only way that guarantees to give a buzz.
But it goes far deeper than that.
Sadism and Masochism are defined as mental disorders (the exact definition of which has changed over time and is still in a state of flux). Spankos are seen to be members of that group who have algonalia - which is considered to be totally harmless.
Researchers find that sadists enjoy inflicting actual distress on non-consenting people and animals. Masochists desires for self pain have led some of them dying of asphyxia or other causes.
It is the notion that there is non-consent that stops the spanko dead in his or her tracks. It is not the legal aspect, it is the ethical and moral one. Sadists enjoy their lust come what may - but spankos enjoy sharing a mutual idiosyncrasy with a like minded participant. Take away the consent, and you take away all the pleasure. When dealing with real participants in real life.
If we draw a scale with spanko at one end, and sadism/masochism at the other, it is impossible to draw a line which cleanly delineates those who lie in the middle as being on the harmless side or the potentially harmful one. Some spankos, but not all, find bondage may add to the fun. Some, but not all, find fetish wear is a big plus. Others, but not all, find that pain in other parts of the body can be a turn on - whipping the back, strapping the palms of the hand and so on. Such additions give no clear indication.
So let me digress for a moment. There was an experiment last year in which researchers at the University of British Columbia conducted on what they call "everyday sadists" - people who have sadistic tendencies but not to such a degree as to require medical intervention. Initial tests identified some participants who displayed traits consistent with being "everyday sadists". That group all selected "the unpleasant job experience" of putting bugs into grinders to destroy them. Other groups selected chores like "cleaning toilets" etc.
Causing distress to bugs gives a sadist a slight buzz. I don't know about you, but that is not part of my make up.
And in an fMRI study, a female masochist was unable to avoid getting sexually aroused regardless of where a slightly painful shock was administered to her body: be it forearm or calf.
When a sadist and a masochist agree to participate in a session of mutual arousal, there is invariably a safe-word chosen to end the session. And a true sadist will whale away with full vigor until the safe-word is said. About 40% of spankos also have safe-words: but they consider it a disaster if it has to be used.
We spankos find much pleasure in the world of fiction and fantasy, where the non-sensual nature of a spanking adds spice to the rendition. To such a degree, that many of us play out such scenes so that the pretended protests might add to our enjoyment. But we do know it is all play.
For sadists and masochists none of it is play. Power, distress and any sort of pain: those are the essentials.
We may fear that our spanko urges could lead us into full blown sado-masochism. If we should end up there, it was a destination we were always going to reach and our spanking interlude was just a way station.
All the research so far undertaken gives no hint at some slippery slope we may be heading down. We just need do a reality check from time to time, and continue to enjoy our harmless pastime.
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